The sun was bright and sky blue yet I sat in my small, dark room with one window facing an alley bawling my eyes out. This was a typical afternoon for me in Brooklyn.
I was utterly despondent.
The toxic restaurant job I had ruled my life. But I needed to make money. Despite my daily meditations and spiritual seeking, I felt trapped. My life looked like it had bleak prospects.
At times I wished that I could go back to blissful ignorance. But that was not my path in life. The pain I felt needed to be released. I was going through massive healing although it felt like I was going to die.
Sometimes the Pain Feels Unbearable but You’ll Overcome
This pain and crying spells lasted month after month. I felt like I would never come out of the darkness. What I felt would make even the strongest person engage in suicidal ideation.
Weirdly enough the beginning of my spiritual awakening was not like this. Initially, I started to awaken through meditation. My life consistently opened up to new levels of bliss until it took a massive dive.
Now I know this is part of the process.
Yes, awakening will have periods of bliss but you also need to deal with your shadow and heal.
So I spent a few years (and still do at times) doing just that. Healing, purging negative entities, and attachments.
It was painful but I overcame.
And you’ll do the same.
Know that no matter how bad things get it will get better. You will rise out of the ashes and into the light. This was said to me many times and I barely believed it. But I’m here to tell you it’s absolutely true.
It may take a while. Years even. But you will come out of your healing a brand new person.
So allow the pain to be released.
Try not to mask it with drugs (weed included) as much as possible. You’re not going crazy or mentally ill even though it may feel like you need to check yourself in.
Before You Were Born a Plan Was Laid Out
You came to this Earth with a plan. When you were pure energy you laid out a path with your team of support. The plan you made was to help your soul's growth. All of the challenges you’ve experienced and will experience were designed by you.
But as soon as you were born you forgot everything.
This is why Earth is such a challenging school. We forget our perfect plan. We’re blinded. Our life is all about seeking the light and discovering our path. Doing so helps the growth of our soul.
Everything that you’re going through is perfect. It was designed in your best interest. Free will makes the journey possible. Without it, you wouldn't be able to grow.
Many souls desire to come to this Earth school to re-balance. We are blessed to be here. Souls must be quite advanced to embark on such an endeavor.
You are very powerful.
Being here and going through this pain is no accident.
With time you’ll begin to access more of this amazing power you have. The Pain you’re experiencing is a tool to access that power.
You’ll Be Thankful You Didn’t Seek to Undo Your Growth
As you begin to transmute the pain you purge into love your life will blossom. Yes, awakening brings up many emotions that we would rather not deal with. But doing so reaps great rewards.
You respond to life with more love. Doing so creates happiness and abundance. If you seek to undo your healing you’ll be in constant pain and turmoil.
I don’t know about you but I’d rather work through the pain and then be able to transmute it rather than stuffing it down. If you hold on to pain and not deal with it you’ll live a life of misery and sickness.
Every choice has consequences.
Choosing to heal and grow reaps a happy, loving, abundant life. Choosing to be stagnant reaps discontent and never-ending depression.
The more you seek growth and healing the better your life will be.
Focus on what you can control such as:
- The content you consume
- Your diet and physical activity
- Sleep schedule
- Career path
- Your thoughts
- The relationships you develop
All of the above will help you take back more of your power. You’ll never think about undoing your awakening ever again.