The 5 Signs of a Narcissist That You Should Know

Jennifer March, MS

The red flags of a narcissist I wished I had known sooner.

The topic of narcissists has been rapidly growing over the past year. The concept of narcissists has, to put it lightly, been overused and misunderstood.

All narcissists are different, just as no two people are alike, no two narcissists will be completely the same.

Narcissism shouldn’t be a term that is used lightly. Narcissism is the consistent use of manipulation that occurs at the hands of a narcissist. It is important to remember these top signs so you can always spot a narcissist — or not!

I have endured narcissistic abuse for over 20 years. From my personal experience with a narcissist, I have learned the easiest and most noticeable red flags.

1. Superiority

Have you ever met someone who you feel is always trying to one-up you? You know, nothing you do is ever as good as what they’ve done? Or maybe they always give off this air that they are far better than you?

All of the above behaviors fall under superiority. Superiority is almost like a God complex (and that may be the case for some narcissists). They think they are better than you in every way possible — and they let you know it.

2. Lies

Nothing this person ever says is the truth. How do you know this? Well, you’ve probably caught them in one too many lies. Lies are a tool for manipulation that a narcissist will use to get what they truly want — whatever that may be.

The lies don’t need to be massive or elaborate. It can be as simple as a bunch of tiny white lies that aren’t enough to raise a ton of suspicion separately. But over time those lies can make you doubt yourself and your own sanity. From there, we can begin to see the narcissist's lies.

3. Entitlement

Everything they want is theirs, and everything you have is theirs also!

No logic or reasoning really comes into consideration for them. They will do everything in their power to make sure that they get what they believe they deserve. They don’t worry about the result of their actions, they only care about making sure they get what they want.

4. Belittling

Much like superiority, there is a constant failure on your end to meet up to their expectations. Nothing you do will ever be praised or celebrated by them (it might but it most likely isn’t sincere).

They will stop at no end to make you feel smaller, and tear you down in the process. They only believe that their view of you matters the most. If they don’t like you, the belittling can only grow.

5. No real interest in you

They’ve never cared about you, or you always felt it was conditional. This is the sign that can really hurt the most. They only care if you are there for them, but they couldn’t care less about you.

This can lead to depression, and low self-esteem due to the constant torture they deal you. I know that this was the hardest sign for me to fully come to terms with over the years.

Any of these signs alone can be hurtful and damaging to you. Know these signs and carry them throughout your life. That way can know how to step back from a person who may be showing you signs that they are a narcissist.

Keep yourself safe in knowing what the signs are. And remember the lies that a narcissist tells you are not true. Their world is so filled with their own nonsense that at times, it feels like you’re the villain — but you’re not.

Please remember this: a narcissist feeds off of attention. If you take that attention away, you disarm them.

As hard as it may be, my advice is to reduce contact with the narcissist if you have one in your life. They can’t hurt you if they can’t get to you. Make yourself unavailable and uninterested. Eventually, they will have to move on to someone else.

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As Originally Posted on Medium

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Psych nerd turned freelance writer | MS in Psychology | Mom of two cats and some house plants | #MentalHealthAdvocate #BeKind

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