Have you ever worn yourself out looking for answers to solve an issue or a conflict? I am ashamed to say I have wasted too much energy in my life doing this. I’m a people pleaser, so I’m always trying to find a solution, or smooth over the rough spots. It was liberating when I finally realized that most of the time I can step back and let other people own their issues.
It takes at least two people to create drama, so if you don’t engage in it then at least you don’t have to be the one dealing with it. I have a family member who lives for drama. She likes to watch it happen and she enjoys stirring the pot so she can watch it firsthand. She also knew how to get a reaction from me until I finally had enough, and I told her I was done with drama. I remember how surprised she looked, but from that moment on we have not had an issue, and our communication has been better.
Today is my youngest daughter’s birthday and tomorrow is my husband’s. My oldest daughter and I are planners, so we have been asking them for weeks what they wanted to do to celebrate. We needed to make reservations, find a babysitter, and let family members know what we were doing, but every time we asked they said they didn’t know what they wanted to do. I asked one more time this morning and then realized I was wasting energy, so I said, “You know, today and tomorrow are your birthdays, so we shouldn’t be pressuring you into doing anything. You go ahead and do whatever you want.”
We should adopt the same attitude for those people who decide they have the right to judge or criticize us. As long as you are doing your best let the haters hate, and don’t worry about it. The best way to treat a hater is to ignore her if you can. Reactions are fuel to the fire. There are times when you have to stand up to a hater, but most of the time it’s a waste of energy.
Don’t worry so much about what others think about you. Be the best version of yourself and carry on.