Avoiding Hatefulness

Jennifer Bonn

Photo byJennifer Bonn

If you asked me what I think the worse character trait is I would say hatefulness. I never understand why someone needs to be mean, and how being a hater benefits you. I know most hateful people are acting from hurt or feeling less than themselves, but I have spent many moments in disbelief about what someone said or did. The problem is there are times when I have shown the dark side of my personality as well. I have judged, criticized, laughed at, and made comparisons when I had no right to do that. So, If I want to see less hatefulness I should start with myself, right? Here are a few things I do to remind myself that kindness is the better choice over hatefulness every time.

Filter your words.

Have you ever said something without thinking about it first and you realize that without meaning to you have insulted the person in front of you? This is why I need someone to invent the verbal delete button. I do my best to take a breath and think about my reply before my inside voice comes roaring into the world. It’s a work in progress.

Find a positive.

Instead of judging someone find a positive about them and focus on that. We all have weaknesses, but we also have good qualities and you might find yourself liking someone more as you look for the good.

Look beyond yourself.

If you only focus on yourself you are missing out on learning about some interesting people. The next time you have a conversation focus on asking them questions about them instead of talking about yourself.

Avoid comparisons.

I notice that hatefulness often blossoms after jealousy. When someone sees something he wishes he had the hateful comments begin.

Practice gratitude.

If we spend more time looking at the blessings we have in our lives we won’t be so quick to criticize others.

We can all benefit from more kindness and fewer haters, so I hope you will join me in doing your best to avoid hatefulness in your own life.

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I am passionate about running, parenting, education, and self-help information. I enjoy writing articles that will offer readers the information needed to help them in some way. I recently retired from teaching French and Spanish for forty years. I run every day and have done all kinds of races from 5ks to ultra-marathons. I have three children and three grandchildren. I write for several magazines in my area, I am a contributor and in charge of the Pinterest board for a parenting magazine called Screamin Mamas, and I have a second book about to be released through Loving, Healing Press called 101 Tips to Ease Your Burdens.

Kennesaw, GA

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