"Opinion" Lies you tell yourself

Jennifer Bonn

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Jen Bonn

We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to beliefs that hold us back. We can convince ourselves that we cannot do something before we even attempt it. Most of these lies affect us either mentally or physically and eliminating them can make us better. Here are a few we can do without.

You are not good enough

I struggle with this one myself, and I know many other people do too. I always have that feeling that I should have done a better job, or that someone will ask me why I am even trying to do a certain task. It is something I am always working on changing and encouraging others to do the same because it can defeat you mentally and keep you from doing what you love. I practice saying positive things about what I do, and I keep positive notes from people who I have helped as well as uplifting messages.

I have a friend who wants to be an ultra-runner, but she has convinced herself she cannot do it. I have been at several events with her, and she always stops around eighteen miles. It’s her mental wall. Running is more mental than physical, so I am hoping she can bust through that wall and meet her goals.

I’m not a good mom

I think most moms feel this at some point in the parenting journey. We have to make some hard decisions for the good of our children and they are not always happy with us. When my youngest finished public middle school, I signed her up to come to the private high school where I worked. She was angry with me for her whole freshman year because she wanted to stay with her friends in public schools. After her first semester in college, she apologized to me and thanked me for the education she received. That was a very hard time for me. As long as you are providing your children with food, shelter, basic needs, and plenty of love while doing your best to be a good parent, you are probably doing o.k.

I’m not worthy

This translates to I don’t deserve this, and it is slightly different from I’m not good enough because this one is about guilt, and the sense that you haven’t done enough, sacrificed enough or worked hard enough to deserve something. You deserve happiness, and you are worthy to have that happiness.

I don’t have time

This is the lie that I hear the most, especially as an excuse for not exercising. It usually sounds like this, “I would exercise if I didn’t have a job. I just don’t have time.” You can find time in your day for anything that should be a priority. We could get back a lot of our time if we didn’t play with our phones as much.

I can’t exercise because my joints hurt

This is the domino lie. I can’t exercise because my joints hurt, but my joints hurt because I don’t exercise. Another excuse that is keeping you from feeling better.

I can’t lose weight

In order to lose weight, you have to have a realistic body image, so saying I’m meant to be fat, I’m a fat girl, or I’m big-boned, are all lies that mean you don’t have to put in the effort to be healthy. You also have to have a sustainable eating plan. You won’t lose weight starving yourself or eating two bars a day that taste like cardboard.

I’m doing a good enough job at work

There is often a big divide between good enough and good. Good enough sounds like you do the minimum to get by every day.

It’s someone else’s fault

This lie allows you to play the victim instead of accepting responsibility for your actions.

I deserve this

This lie means that even though you haven’t worked for something, saved for it, or met certain criteria, you think you are entitled to it. An example would be someone who goes on a lavish vacation but cannot pay rent upon returning home. Another example is when a student asks a teacher how he can get an A in the class even though he missed 8 out of 16 classes and has failed 3 out of 4 tests.

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I am passionate about running, parenting, education, and self-help information. I enjoy writing articles that will offer readers the information needed to help them in some way. I recently retired from teaching French and Spanish for forty years. I run every day and have done all kinds of races from 5ks to ultra-marathons. I have three children and three grandchildren. I write for several magazines in my area, I am a contributor and in charge of the Pinterest board for a parenting magazine called Screamin Mamas, and I have a second book about to be released through Loving, Healing Press called 101 Tips to Ease Your Burdens.

Kennesaw, GA
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