Life is Better When You Stop Complaining

Jason Weiland

Nobody cares that you are tired; they are thinking about themselves

Life is hard for everyone, not just you.

I thought I was special because I stayed up for days without sleep and worked for hours without end. I thought I was doing something unique when I started hustling for what I wanted. I thought people cared that I was working myself to the bone.

I thought people cared, so I made excuses and complained constantly.

What was my first clue that people didn’t care? My wife. She often heard how tired and fatigued I was and how my back and head hurt. But the thing is that she worked almost as many hours as I was, plus she was cooking, doing dishes, and taking care of the baby. I thought I was special because I did my work and still helped around the house and took care of the kids all the time, but for my wife, it’s an every day, 24/7 thing.

She didn’t want to hear that I was tired; she was tired too. Her back hurt as well, and she had a stress headache. I wasn’t special because here she was in the same house, sacrificing as I did and having to listen to me complain.

So, I looked around me, and people were going to work every day, taking care of their families, not getting enough sleep, and they wanted to complain too, but didn’t.

And then there is a final group. Some have an easy life. They don’t want to work hard and hustle. They sleep plenty of hours. They eat whenever they want and have lots of time for things like video games and Netflix. They don’t care about you either because they think you are crazy for pushing yourself to such extreme lengths to succeed. They don’t want to hear you complain because it reminds them that they are taking the easy road through life and have accepted that they will never succeed because they won’t work for it.

So, if nobody wants to bear us complaining about how tired we are, how much stress we have, or how much our heads ache, why are we still doing it?

Complaining is addictive. Like a drug, we find ourselves drawn back more and more to the feeling we get when others hear our complaints.

Try this: get a notebook a become highly aware of your speech. Every time you complain, make a mark in the book. If you are aware, write down what you complained about.

According to Will Bowen, best-selling author of “A Complaint-Free World,” we complain 15 to 30 times each day. I would say I crush those numbers by lunch.

Can you imagine all the complaining if everyone at work voiced their problems freely? The entire day would be spent airing complaints and hearing excuses for why something wasn’t done.

If everyone in the world complained and made excuses as you did, all we would hear is people complaining 24/7.

And even since I’ve become more aware of it and taken steps to avoid it, I still find myself throwing a complaint to whoever would hear it. It’s insidious just how easily those complaints rise to the surface of our consciousness if we don’t actively stop ourselves from dwelling on them.

So, what happens to the unvoiced complaints? If they don’t make it out of your mouth and to the ears of your companions, they die on the vine and don’t produce any more fruit. So, my unvoiced compliant is acknowledged by me and forgotten in the stream of ideas, tasks, and thoughts in my head.

And even though my wife hasn’t taken the same path as I and stopped complaining 24/7, I feel better knowing I am not clogging the air with the “shit thoughts” from my brain.

Yes, we are all tired, although some of you are fatigued from too much couch-surfing and Netflix. I don’t envy you, and I don’t begrudge your lack of focus and hustle. The only thing that bothers me is that many of the lazier people in society still think they should get the same success that my hustling brethren get. They say it’s because of inequality, racism, and sexism, but a lot of times, it’s because you have no goals except for making sure your life is as easy as possible.

Live a life of leisure, but don’t get mad at me for finding my version of success through hard work and perseverance.

It’s not just millennials or Gen Z, but people my age and older who feel like they are too far past their prime to make anything of their lives, so they just give up.

I am all for work/life balance, but so many of you are heavily weighted towards life and get mad at me because I work hard.

Oh, Jason. You shouldn’t have to work so hard to get what you want in life.” Sadly, I’ve even told myself that lie in the past. It would be brilliant to be able to be lazy and get everything you want, like some twisted trust-fund baby, but I can’t live like that.

I want to know when I reach the success that I put in my best to get here.

If you are like me, and mental health is usually a problem, there must be some level of pushing past limits to make any progress. If I don’t actively focus on work and hustle, depression and anxiety will make me fall back into the “late-sleeper” mentality, and I will never get anything done.

So, if you do suffer from poor mental health, try pushing yourself out of bed and into some activity that is helpful for your goals.

Whatever you do, though, don’t complain about how tired you are and how much your back hurts. No one should have to hear that, including your mental health, which is always looking for a reason to pull you back down into the muck.

Stop complaining and making excuses for things that don’t get done. Just keep pushing and hustling towards your goals and hold the “shit thoughts” from your speech.


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Writer and advocate interested in mental health, health, family, culture, creativity, and success.

Los Angeles, CA

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