It’s time we stopped reaching for someone else’s goal
It’s the thought that keeps you up at 2 a.m. It’s the thing that keeps your mind overthinking, instead of doing something to help your lousy situation. It’s the reason you feel like a failure:
"How come I'm not a success yet?"
You did everything they said you’re supposed to do to be successful. You worked long hours. You educated yourself on things you may not have enjoyed but would help your career or business. You spent time away from your family and the things you loved so you could do what needed doing.
Are you unlucky? Are you not working hard enough? Don’t you have what it takes? Are you dumb, or are you not cut out to make it big?
By now, you’re sick of thinking about it. And you have no clue what success is anyway.
You Are Not Alone
Millions if not billions of people feel the same way you do.
Some feel entitled to be a success. They feel like it should come easy for them. Honestly, they are misguided.
Some of us also feel like we have battled through adversity and put in the time, but for some reason, we haven’t done the right things and are sitting up at night wondering what we did wrong.
There are a billion of us.
Why You Aren’t a Success Yet?
There are many reasons people never become successful. First of all, whose idea of success should we be following? Is there a rule or law somewhere that says what you have to get and what you have to do to be considered a success?
It’s not because you didn’t read the right books. It’s not because you haven’t been working hard enough. And trust me, you aren’t dumb.
The following comes from my own experience and from the research of others like you and me. See if you’ve made the same mistakes.
1. You’ve listened to the wrong people
The internet is full of people trying to make a dollar by teaching methods they have never tried out for themselves. It’s like the expression you’ve heard, “Those who can’t do, teach.” I’ve been through so many courses and books written by people slinging a lot of fluff but no substance. My mind is full of useless formulas and methods that, if tried, wouldn’t bring a person any closer to professional success than they are now. We think we don’t have the answers, so we find people who sound like they know and open our minds and wallets to them.
2. You have the wrong mindset
Most of us want to start a business because we want more freedom, we want to be our own boss, and we want and need more money. But all we do is create another job for ourselves that we hate and make less money doing it! If you want to be successful, you have to forget everything you learned growing up and in school and change the way you think. Being successful is not about creating another treadmill in the rat race — it’s about creating freedom for ourselves and changing the world. Stop thinking like the rest of the misguided and follow your own path.
3. We’ve been told to follow our passion
Don’t get me wrong — passion is great. Without passion, there is no love. Without passion, there would have been no Martin Luther King or Gandhi. But pick up any self-help or business book off the shelf, and the first thing it tells you to do is find your passion and build your life around that. But if you want to be successful, you have to find something worthwhile and make it your passion. Sure, if you’re a confirmed carnivore, it will be hard to become passionate about being a vegan. But if you are a starving artist, you could become passionate about digital photography and be successful at doing or teaching that. Find something that people want and become a passionate expert about it, and success will follow.
4. You are an overthinker
This one hits close to home because I’m the type of person whose mind is always running. My mind is like an internet browser with 1000 tabs open at the same time. I’m not suggesting you make rash decisions. But there is a time to think and a time to take action! Most of us never take action!
5. You make assumptions
This kind of follows overthinking. If we think too much about something, we will begin to assume things that may not be true. You may have a great idea, but if you overthink it you will start to assume all kinds of things. I say again: stop overthinking and assuming. Take action!
6. You are not productive
Most people fall into the same trap they were in when they had a nine-to-five job. You have eight hours to fill, so you come up with all kinds of busywork to make it look like you’re accomplishing something with your time. You have to stop doing things that aren’t getting you near to your goals and focus on what is important. Tim Ferris talks about the Pareto Principle. This principle states that 80% of the results you achieve come from 20% of your effort. Make sure you’re doing the right things at the right time so your 20% isn’t wasted.
7. You’re feeling sorry for yourself
I’ve had to learn to stop hosting pity parties and have a positive mindset. If you want to get anywhere, you have to stop dwelling on the negative and motivate yourself to hustle and get done what needs doing.
The Answer? Change Your Definition of Success
What I think is a success is not the same as what you think. You can’t define the successes in your life by what others tell you to do. Don’t be a follower! Figure out your definition of success and reach for it. When you have reached that level, define it further. Dream big! Don’t let others’ limitations hold you back.
Unfortunately, I don’t have a magic formula for you. Why? Because I haven’t gotten there myself.
But if you don’t see yourself as successful, I will tell you one secret that I know works: Get out there and hustle, doing the right things! Find out for yourself what those things are and do them. Plus, define for yourself what success is and go for that. Don’t be shooting for others’ goals.
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being mediocre. Let’s get out there and make something happen!
I’m ready. Are you?