With many parents in America, mostly new ones and single parents and step-parents having a tough time with their kids, getting them to behave properly and doing what they want their kids to do and seeing most of them ending up in frustration and anger, which gets me worried. I did a little study around and found a peaceful home with loving kids.
Here are 10 things I found out which will turn things around this thanksgiving and beyond.
Giving Your Kids What They Deserve – QUALITY time with Dad!
ELEVEN Activities to do with your kids in the Outdoors this thanksgiving click here https://gabphils.krtra.com/t/fzPJqw7Y8SXc to get started.
1. Children only pay attention to us because of who we are.
Your ability to affect your kid is determined by how close they feel to you. I'm sure you're feeling connected. But, even if they don't receive what they want, does your kid feel understood? Do you have your child's trust that you'll be there for them when they need you? Is your kid accepted for who they are, even if they aren't perfect? Is your youngster confident in your ability to control your emotions rather than succumbing to your frustrations or scaring them into cooperating?
If your youngster refuses to listen, begin by connecting intentionally to build and sweeten your bond.
Look for ways to sympathize at every turn, particularly while you establish boundaries and redirect. "That seems to be a lot of fun... You like circling the home in your pickup... And I'm concerned that crashing it like that would scratch the wall, so we'll have to locate a safe spot for you to crash."
Every day, set aside at least 15 minutes of one-on-one Special Time to engage with each kid.
Roughhouse will make your youngster chuckle every day. (This increases trust and connection while lowering stress hormones.)
When your kid needs to weep, accept it, even if it's because you've said no. (Your limit remains unchanged.) You simply understand how much they want you to say yes.)
Within a week of focusing on connecting, you'll notice that your youngster is paying more attention when you ask for cooperation.
2. When our instructions are part of the daily routine, children accept them.
"Before supper, we always tidy up the toys. That is the law. Let's get this party started. We can make this enjoyable."
If your youngster refuses to assist, maintain your calm and start offering them items to place on the shelf one at a time. Give the toys voices so that they may lead you to where they want to go. Make sure some of the toys land up on your kid's head to make them giggle, and your youngster won't be able to stop himself from placing the item back where it belongs. Our routines may not be loved by our children, but when we stick to them every day, they develop habits, such as washing hands after being outdoors or finishing schoolwork before playing. Making any routine interesting for your kid can help it become a habit much quicker!
3. Children will comply with our wishes after they have realized that the limit is set.
If children learn that they may modify our limitations at any moment, they will naturally test them. That doesn't rule out the possibility of listening to their reasons and reconsidering your position. (After all, you want them to become skilled at identifying win-win solutions.) Yet after you've made up your mind, be kind but firm. Intrude into their physical space in a nice, hilarious manner such that they can't ignore you.
"Hey, you dump truck driver, didn't you hear me? Now is the time to tidy up. Demonstrate your truck's sounds as you drive it to the toy shelf."
4. Children embrace our boundaries when we accept their wishes, as well as their anger, grief, or dissatisfaction with our boundaries.
They don't have to like our boundaries; all they have to do is respect them. They will be more willing to accept the restriction and move on if they have expressed their wish and discontent and have been heard.
"Isn't it true that you wish you could play for another ten hours? You want to stay up all night playing. It's difficult to put down the game and tidy up. Want to show me how snarly you're feeling by growling as we clean up? While we put the plush animals back on the shelf, let's have a growling contest. My panda is growling loudly as she makes her way to her spot on the shelf! Wow! Pay attention to your alligator's scream!"
5. When children are not pushed about, they will comply with our instructions.
Don't start a power battle. Find a method to offer them a say and some control.
"Now is the time to tidy up. You have a decision to make. Do you wish to drive or airlift the automobiles inside the box?"
6. Children will cooperate with our demands if we make them interesting and appealing.
Anything may be turned into a game, and no child can refuse an offer to participate. Allow the trucks to compete for the toy box. Make use of amusing voices. Hold a competition to see who can clean up the most quickly. Assume you're a member of the wrecking crew. While you're cleaning up, tell a tale about a youngster who despises cleaning.
Is it possible for you to do this every time? Unless you're a superhuman, of course. Every parent has days when they are just too tired to have fun. However, if you do this whenever you have the energy, you will generate enough goodwill to carry over to days when you don't.
7. When our demands are age-appropriate, kids comply.
Most five-year-olds are incapable of cleaning up after themselves. Even if you believe he "should" be able to do it, he will need your help to keep on track. He's "borrowing" your executive function if you will. When we clean up with our kids regularly and make it fun for them, they gradually learn to like keeping their area tidy. However, expecting young children to accomplish things on their own is typically not age-appropriate. Their primary reason for cleaning up is to connect with their parent, so take advantage of that connection to motivate them to clean up.
8. When children sense that we care about their pleasure, they accept our limitations.
"I understand that you don't want to ruin the tower you've worked so hard to build. We normally clean up after ourselves at night, but we'll leave your tower up for you to enjoy. We'll have time for an additional tale if we rush through the remainder of the clean-up."
9. Children follow our instructions because they trust us to set regulations that are beneficial to their well-being.
The way we connect with them daily establishes that trust.
"We tidy up so that we don't trip and smash the toys. As a result, we'll have plenty of room to play tomorrow."
10. Children accept our NO because they sense a deeper YES inside us.
Kids will nearly always comply with our requests if we make them with a loving heart. Even when you establish your boundary, find a way to say YES rather than NO.
"Yes, it's time to clean up, and yes, I'll assist you, and yes, we can leave your tower up, and yes, you may grumble about it, and yes, if we hurry, we can read an extra tale, and yes, we can make this fun, and yes, I love you, and yes, how did I end up being your parent? YES!"
The main secret to saying No, according to writer Scott Noelle, is that you can say it with "Yes! Energy." There's a larger Yes in it, a Yes to your kid when you can say No clearly but with all the love and care you have for your child. That broader affirmation, that Yes, that your kid perceives and reacts to, is what allows them to accept your No. Your kid will reciprocate with the same generosity of heart like you.