How To Know If You Are In An Abusive Relationship: Types And Signs To Lookout For

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In this article, we will be looking at how to know if you are in an abusive relationship and what signs to identify if your relationship is unhealthy.

Intimate relationships that are abusive employ a variety of tactics by one partner, the abuser, to exercise power and control over the other, the victim. Contrary to popular belief, not all abusers are male, as is widely believed. So both male and female spouse abusers are discussed in this article.

Some abusers claim not to be abusive. Some people blatantly acknowledge wrongdoing, express deep regret, and vow never to repeat it—even though they virtually always do.

Many abusive relationships start out slowly, and it might be tempting to dismiss their actions at first as innocuous expressions of love, jealously, or emotional insecurity.

Let’s now examine the many forms of relationship abuse.

Violent abuse

Pushing, choking, striking, kicking, or any other type of violent physical contact constitutes this. In order to express anger, this could also entail making threats of such violence or causing damage to nearby property.

When most of us consider abusive relationships, we picture this kind of maltreatment. We frequently consider the battered wife as well. Contrary to conventional assumption, there are almost as many abused males as there are women.

In spite of the fact that these guys are just as prone to significant physical damage as women are, there are very few resources available to assist them. In addition, these men fear being taken lightly and find it difficult, if not impossible, to address their problems with friends or family.

Verbal Abuse

When your partner calls you names or verbally disparages you, it is considered verbal abuse. This could come in many different forms, such as being called unattractive or foolish. It could manifest as your partner holding you responsible for any problems in the union or unpleasant occurrences. It’s possible that your partner constantly judges and criticises you, or even publicly humiliates you in front of loved ones.

Emotional Violence

In some violent situations, it’s crucial that the victim of abuse be kept as far away as possible. The victim’s loss of support from family and friends gives the abuser considerably more power over them. Thus, the victim of emotional abuse will strive to limit their contact with friends and family. Arguments with friends and relatives could be used to incite the abused against their loved ones. They can try to dictate what you wear and where you go. They might also hold you accountable for their actions or for any other problems they are having in their lives or in their relationship with you. Either at home or in public, they might undermine and degrade you.

Additionally, if they feel challenged or if you do something that displeases them, they may lose all affection or support for you.

Abuse of money

Various forms could exist for this. It may be necessary for you to ask your partner for money on a regular basis when you need it for typical home needs. Alternatively, your partner can give you very little money to work with or spend a lot of money, leaving your family in debt. Even though there is more than enough to go around, you could continuously feel the need to defend your spending to your partner. You might not know how much money your partner has if they hide their assets.

Sexual assault

This could take a variety of shapes. Your partner can keep pressuring you to engage in sexual activity that you find uncomfortable. Another possibility is that your partner attempts to talk you into having sex even though you don’t want to. If you refuse, he or she can become enraged and threaten to seek sexual fulfillment elsewhere.

Relationships that are psychologically or mentally abusive are particularly pernicious because the victim starts to accept their abuser’s accusations about them and grows acclimated to their partner’s behavior, thinking it is normal. If you believe that you or a loved one may be in this circumstance, think about if one or more of these 7 abusive relationship warning signals are present.

7 Signs of an Abusive Relationship

1. A pattern of control is frequently the start of abusive relationships.

The goal of an abusive person is to control every facet of their partner’s life. This can entail having clear rules about what is allowed where in the house, interrupting their partner in the middle of a phone call, or frequently checking in on them via text. These instances frequently appear insignificant, yet they can add up to create a stifling, unpleasant atmosphere.

2. In an abusive relationship, jealousy is a telltale indicator.

It really isn’t normal for someone to be envious of your work, friends, or social life. A spouse should express their pride in your accomplishments, not make you feel bad about them. At first, you might find his jealousy endearing. He or she might phone or text you multiple times every day, and if you don’t answer right away, they might accuse you of cheating. They may begin monitoring your every step. It’s time to let go if you’re concerned that your friendship with that person is making you or another person feel more and more alone.

3. You don’t feel liberated to pursue your own interests.

The other person controls how you behave and how you dress, attempts to manage the people you hang out with, and constantly maintains tabs on your whereabouts and activities.

4. You apologise all the time.

Even if you’re not sure what you’re sorry about, you apologise for your behavior because you’re worried about how your spouse will respond and want to avoid their ire and accusations.

5. Possessive and controlling behavior

They constantly check up on you to find out where you are, what you’re up to, and whom you’re with. They become upset if you don’t follow their instructions and try to control where you go and who you see.

6. You no longer have faith in your own viewpoint.

You’ve been told that you’re incorrect, foolish, or crazy so frequently that you’ve come to believe it.

7. You no longer recognise the person you were before the relationship.

You spend so little time doing things you care about on your own or with close friends that you have forgotten what it was like to be a self-reliant, powerful individual.

How to Leave an Abusive Relationship

Being aware of the situation

Be on the lookout for any danger signs when you suspect your abuser will become enraged. If you notice this, make plans to have an excuse to leave the house. Have a justification or story that is credible both during the day and at night.

Eliminate self-blame.

No matter what you’ve done or said, keep in mind that you never deserve to be abused. The abuser is the only one who must answer for their actions.

Keep your distance from them.

Don’t respond to their calls, emails, or text messages. Try to keep a companion with you and keep your talk to necessary subjects if you must work or spend time with them.

Prepare a go bag.

Make sure you have a bag filled with the necessities that you can take with you when you leave the house. A key, car keys, clothing, money, contact information, and other items. It’s also crucial to ask a friend or family member to keep copies of all of them. Whether you are running to a friend’s house or a shelter, make sure you have access to the location so you are not left without a place to stay.

Use a phone that isn’t accessible to your abuser.

Information about accounts, billing, and location tracking may be stored on this phone. If you need to make phone calls, use a go phone, a prepaid phone, a payphone, or a friend’s phone. The same holds true for other gadgets like tablets and desktops.


If you’re married, have kids, or share assets, ending an abusive relationship can be more difficult. If it applies to you, consulting a lawyer is a wise course of action.

You can create an exit strategy to leave the relationship securely with the assistance of a domestic abuse advocate or mental health specialist.

On a final note, what do you think about this sensitive topic? Please share your opinion and make sure you follow my page for more updates

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