Do I Matter?

Hope Moquin

To the One Who is Asking This Question?

Hey, you matter.

I love you. My sweet friend, you are more. And there is more. You matter.

I would never dare to tell you that what you’re feeling is diminutive. That what you’re feeling is of no worth. I would never dare to tell you that I understand your heart and your life even the least bit. I understand we are different and that I may never understand every piece of what you have felt or what you have walked through. I understand that our lives may look entirely different.

And I would never dare to tell you that you are capable to get through it. Though I know you are, I believe there is a time for tough love and there is a time to press pause and sit down with understanding eyes.

I don’t know what has been written in your story, I do not have the power to grasp that. I cannot tell you that your situation is going to get better. I cannot tell you that people will treat you kindly or that you will receive apologies your soul is aching for. I cannot promise you that you will get the apologies you deserve. And I cannot promise you that you will get the closure you are desiring for. But what I can say confidently with every ounce in my soul is this.

You are not alone. I promise you this. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone.

My friend, there is someone who needs you. And I know what you’re thinking. “Why would I want to be there for someone if no one has ever been there for me?” Because. What if someone was there for you? What if someone noticed you in your pain? What if there was someone for you when you needed them?

What if you crossed paths with someone and it changed the whole course of your life? I don’t know the pain you are feeling, but I can tell you that your pain will be your greatest asset of your life if you let it. If you let it, your pain will draw out your most inner being and will shape you into the person you’ve always wanted to be that you didn’t even know.

It’s not over for you. I wanted it to be over for me. Oh my gosh, I wanted it to be over for me. I really did. I didn’t see a purpose in this life. People have been so cruel. I have experienced it first hand and I have seen the cruelness done to others. But can I tell you that sitting here as I write this in the brisk cold of February, I have never been more humbled that I have my pain to look back on. And I’m believing that you too, will come to that place. Because it is possible. And you absolutely do have it in you.

I can’t help but smirk as I write this. But if you have dealt with this, don’t you know that there is something so big coming for you right around the corner? I’m about to flip this table over and start shouting in joy for you.

The one’s that get so close to the point of almost caling quits are the one’s you have the most to offer to the world. That’s not an actual fact, but that sits deep in my belief. Life got so brutally cruel that it almost took the most precious thing you hold. You cannot tell me that doesn’t mean something big. You can’t tell me that purpose isn’t buried in your soul. You can’t tell me that your words will hold no weight. You can’t tell me that your story does not matter.

You have something to offer to people in an incredibly raw and inherent way. When you get through this, you literally have a life ring in the palm of your hand for somebody else. You my friend, will now carry something that the world is in desperation to have a touch of. You now have a deep rooted strength about you that can never be uprooted. That can’t be taken away from you. That no one can steal. No one can cover up. Because this strength is not just something you have. But this strength is something that you are. You are strong. You are the strength someone is looking for.

You now have a hope in your soul that will not be touched. You now have words to speak that hold a heavy meaning because you lived it. And you overcame it. This, this is something to throw a party for.

And I didn’t see it that way for a long time, I didn’t choose a lot of things that are written in my story and that’s the thing I learned. I do not want to rewrite it. That’s why I’m writing it you in hopes that my mess will inspire you to embrace your mess. Because we are all messy people trying to cover it up. But I don’t want to cover it. Too many people try to cover up the things that everyone is actually desperately waiting to hear. Because it’s hard. Because it’s messy. Because it’s sensitive. Because it can be uncomfortable. But let me tell you this right here. I want to embrace it with you.

I love you. I so believe in you. And I want to celebrate you for the rest of our days.

To anyone who is questioning their worth or questioning if their life even matters – I encourage you to send this to them. To give them a glimpse of hope, a helping hand. So people can feel like someone understands and they are not alone.

Because we are all here and we are all just wating for someone to be able to tell us, “Me, too”.

This world is better because you’re here.

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Oakwood, GA

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