There comes a time in your walk of life to put all of your cards on the table. And put all of your dreams beside them. To place down your options and give them a good stare. In the midst of being pulled one way and snatched the other. In the midst of your heart screaming yes and your mind screaming no. In the midst of your eyes racing over all that you've placed down. In the midst of everything, there's choices to make, decisions to conquer. Things to do, places to go and people to meet.
You have to choose what you want – you know, what's going to matter later on and not just in the moment. You've got to choose what you value, and what you believe is right. And sometimes, it takes many not so good choices to have the unwavering recognition of what that may be. But I think there comes a time in your walk of life to put all of your cards on the table, and to just choose.
I think people are constantly trying to form who they are with as many pieces from society that they can find. Fitting themselves into the newest trend and making themselves interested in the screaming popular belief. Buying based on the magazines, and posting based on the retweets. Swallowing their true based opinions to shout out what everyone will be pleased to hear. We hear complaints on how awful society has become and yet we all strive and push our way through the crowds to fit into it. When in reality, if we take a step to look at the big picture and the long-term practicality, perhaps we would recognize that it’s nonsense.
You’ve been given a piece of skin to wear as you. You’ve been given a beating heart for you. You’ve been given a mind to set goals for you. You’ve been given a purpose laid out for you and only you. You can’t be you while trying to be everyone else. You can’t reach your goals while trying to be a part of everyone else’s. You can’t live out your purpose if you are chasing after somebody else’s. You can’t please anyone trying to be everyone.
For every beating heart, for every living soul, I believe there’s a choice that comes with it. A choice that only you can make and that only you can live out. A choice in what you believe. A choice in how you want to live. A choice is what you believe is right. It’s all a choice for you to make – apart from what anybody else says. There comes a time to make it and go on from it with your head held high. Things will all work out for the best and in your favor, and, after walking out your life as you, I promise one day you’ll look back and you’ll nod your head in approval. Because you were different. Because you were genuine. It starts with just taking a step.
Why are we so scared of just placing our foot on the ground and walking? We act like if we take a step that isn’t the perfect one then we can’t just take it back. Friend, let me tell you, you can take back your step. But you’re never going to know if you even need to take it back if you never take it in the first place. We can’t live closed off in these walls we’ve built around ourselves to obscure away from failure. Even if all you can see is quite nothing, just take the step into the unpredictable unknown. We gotta keep moving.
Listen. I’ve been following close to God for three years now, and I've had my fair share of tripping up time to time. It's almost like I'm human or something, how weird. But before I ever knew God, I drowned in the hardest and most heart wrenching times of my life. Yet in these past three years, I've faced adversities - but they were always quick to stand back up from. Nothing too tragic that I couldn't brush off my shoulders. Until these past two months. For the visual people out there (totally me) let me paint a picture for you. I'm steadily standing on everything that's important in my life, and above me are weights hanging by a string connected to the important things under me. One by one, each facet of my life that I hold close to me is unexpectedly ripped out from under me causing a weight to fall. One right after the next. And now, it feels as if I am left with absolutely nothing and unable to move because the weight is too burdensome. Sounds depressing, but it’s not. It is how I feel, yes, but my hope (ha ha) is not going to be shaken ya know?
Before I knew God, when tragedy took place you found me blowing smoke and drinking toxic. I didn't own a belief nor did I care. So tragedy to me was fixable (I thought) with temporary things. And then knowing God, in my small adversities it was easy for me to lift my head and know that God is still good. But what I'm getting at is, I've never faced true, and I mean true affliction while having my heart set on God. Yeah, I've talked about how there is purpose in all things and how His goodness surpasses all. But I've spoken that from a heart of remembrance for all the past tragedy He proved himself faithful in once I found Him.
And now that I have found myself in the bottom of the valley, I have not a clue of what is ahead. I’ve noticed that I have been lost and broken without knowing God. I have been broken while knowing God but choosing to walk away from Him. And I am now noticing, that I have never really been broken while being close to God. Oddly enough, I think it's a kinda beautiful thing. I can’t say that I enjoy this season, but I can say I’m learning more than I ever have about the heart of God. And I know I’m not the only one who has been here.
We gotta keep moving. Right step, wrong step, just take a step. I mean let’s be wise about it, but let's not be stagnant. You’re allowed to take back a step if you see it’s not the right one. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t. But you are not allowed to sit in refusal of at least trying. When everything is going great, you keep walking. When everything is falling to pieces, you keep moving. We’re all in this together, and we gotta keep moving forward together. You don’t always have to get it right, fall on your face a few times. Let’s just always be trying.