Opinion: The Cycle of Life And Moving On

Herbie J Pilato


We all have experienced loss in our lives, whether in the way of losing a loved one, a job, or even something as benign as our hair. In each case, the struggle is real, and should not be taken lightly.

However, also in each case, at some point, we must reach the destination of acceptance. We have to, in order to appropriately and productively move on. Life is about living, and not just in the moment, but for the future. There is nothing that any of us can do about the past.

The past is over, done; gone. We can recall it, relish it, learn from it, and even maybe embrace it a little bit. But not too much; not to the measure at which point we live in it. We can’t. Living is about now, and tomorrow, not yesterday. Living is about loving who we are; where we are, now, today.

Every moment should be a time of reflection, new beginnings, fresh starts, and new education; we have the chance to embrace countless opportunities to learn; to reboot, review, and rewrite our fate; our destinies, combined or singular; alone or with others; with family, friends, colleagues.

Take the chance of today, on today. Move on from the past. Appreciate it. Cherish it. But move on from it, and take what you can and learn from it and apply it to today…in the most wonderful, exciting, and beautiful ways.

Never forget those we have lost; always remember what has brought us to this point; what has shaped us; how we have responded; what has worked; what has not worked; and apply all of it with renewal.

Renew constantly. Rewrite your scripts of life. Study in the school of thought and life; the academics of who you are unending. Your graduation is forever pending. There is no final exam. There are only teachers, in every form, surrounding you every second.

But know that your most important professor is yourself. You teach yourself. Ultimately, you are self-taught. You are the teacher and the student. You have the ability to instruct yourself.

So, study hard, and live your A-life; a passing grade that not decide your graduation, but permits you not to let your life pass you by. In the process, know that you and everyone else are not perfect; and that this is not a perfect world. As such, we must widen our margin of error, for ourselves, just as much as for everyone else. And we can do that by employing compassion, understanding, and loving-kindness with everyone we encounter, and again, especially for ourselves.

That is truly living the A-life. Because if we are not kind to ourselves, and take care of ourselves in that way; nurture ourselves, we won't be any good to anyone else. It's like that whole adage about placing the oxygen mask on yourself first before you place it on another. So very true, in so many countless ways.

In conclusion, be good to yourself, in selfless ways, so you can be strong for others. In doing so, you leave countless forms of grief behind and are literally a "living" example for others.

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Herbie J Pilato is the author of several books about pop culture including THE 12 BEST SECRETS OF CHRISTMAS: A TREASURE HOUSE OF DECEMBER MEMORIES REVEALED, MARY: THE MARY TYLER MOORE STORY, TWITCH UPON A STAR, GLAMOUR, GIDGETS AND THE GIRL NEXT DOOR, DASHING, DARING AND DEBONAIR, and NBC & ME: MY LIFE AS A PAGE IN A BOOK, among others. He's also a TV writer/producer, and has worked for Reelz, Bravo, E!, TLC, and hosted THEN AGAIN WITH HERBIE J PILATO, the hit classic TV talk show (which premiered on Amazon Prime in 2019).

Los Angeles, CA

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