When the Next-Door Neighbors are Bullies
I'm being bullied. By my next-door neighbors. I knew there would be trouble when they moved in. My body knew it. My brain knew it. The little hairs on my neck prickled. A cold sweat washed over my back. The first thought I had was, “My parents moved in.”While some people might have positive associations with their parents. I do not. My parents fought every day. They gas-lit me, hit me, invalidated me, neglected me, screamed at me, belittled me, objectified me, and used me as their personal punching bag. The list goes on. Conflict resolution and de-escalation do not exist with these kinds of people. Every word and action is a maneuver to get what they want. The only thing they care about is winning. At all costs. My second thought was, “Oh no. I have to move.”If you live in New York City, you know that finding a decent apartment is like finding water during the dust-bowl. You thank your lucky stars and you hoard it like there’s no tomorrow. It’s the only city in America where you search for an apartment the month that you have to move. Demand far exceeds supply. Planning and thinking ahead does not exist because landlords have so much power and an apartment could be gone the second that it’s listed. Housing scarcity is real.Read full story
Observations I Had About Shaving My Head as a Woman
It’s fun to use an electric hair clipper! Something about the speed, the buzz, and the instant and shocking results combines for such a fun time! I haven’t smiled, laughed, and been this nervous and scared in a long time. I also felt proud of myself for having the courage to do something solely for me. This is what it feels like to truly live.Read full story
10 Favorite Bathroom Products!
My favorite bathroom products! I hope that you like these too!Jingjing Tian. As someone who grew up very poor with the idea that self-sacrifice is the most important virtual, it took me a long time to learn that even the little things in life can be a treat and bring a sense of joy. As an ex-codependent, I also used external things as a way to measure my self-worth. At the same time, I thought that I was only allowed to buy the lowest-priced items and that it wasn’t okay to care about myself or my looks. It felt very discombobulating to be me and to be in my head — to think that I have to live menially but that I would only be acceptable to society if I owned grand things from luxury brands like Chanel.Read full story
How Self-Sabotage Logic Is Formed Over Time
As children, we learn how to behave based on the people around us. This is true for adults too, but most of our thoughts and beliefs are formed during childhood because that’s when we are most malleable and trusting of others. As someone who grew up in a dysfunctional household, I have a lot of self-sabotage logic and behavior. Writing this essay is my way of getting to the bottom of this logic and helping myself and others to stop hurting ourselves in covert and overt ways.Read full story
Steps in Overcoming Childhood Trauma and Narcissistic Abuse
Overcoming childhood trauma and narcissistic or parental abuse are extremely difficult but it is doable. When I started this journey, I couldn’t see for miles — hundreds and thousands of miles. Turbulent airflow forever.Read full story
Want to Get Into Sundance?
If you’re a filmmaker or want to be one, you’ve probably heard of Sundance. By now, the name (the festival and the brand) has become the holy grail of American indie filmmaking. They receive up to 30,000 and even more submissions per year. Statistically, the chances of getting into a lab, a grant, or screening your work at Sundance is less than 1%. You have a better chance of getting into Harvard or creating a startup. Or anything else. Really.Read full story