Not caring about other people's opinions leads to more confidence

Heather Jauquet

Who are you for YOU at the end of the day?
Pink neon heartAyana Wyse/Unsplash

I recently watched a TikTok video that struck a chord for me. It asked the question, “What was your Flip of a Switch Moment for You?” Mine came from my pre-teen daughter. After a particularly tough emotional day of miscommunication and missteps, I felt sad, angry, and frustrated. She overheard me sharing my day with my husband, and she asked, “Do you really care about what people outside of this family think about you?”

“Do you really care about what people outside of this family think about you?”

There are things in life that will make you overanalyze your actions and your communications with others. But at the end of the day, does anyone’s opinion of you really matter? As long as you are not hurting anyone or no malintent on your part, it would be best if you keep doing you.

The video I watched provided defined roles that we have as people:

  • An employee is someone who you are for your job
  • Spouse/Significant other is who you are for your partner
  • A parent is who you are for your child.
  • A friend is who you are as a friend to others.

But here is the defining moment for you: Who are you for yourself?

This is an excellent question to ponder when you are unsure what your role is in life.

And so when I saw that TikTok video, it hit me hard. When my daughter dropped her truth bomb and asked if opinions outside of our immediate family really mattered, it was as if a lightbulb had gone off.

Do people’s opinions of you really matter?

If you do your job and you do as your employer says, as long as it is ethical, doesn’t hurt anyone, and doing your job correctly, you are a good employee. Of course, every day will not fill you with passion for your work, but you can still do your job well.

If you are supportive and communicate well with your significant other, you are a great partner.

Parenting is hard work. There are days you will be knocking it out of the park, and there will be others where you are hiding in the pantry with a chocolate bar. But if your child is fed, sheltered, and clothed, you are doing fine.

If you are there for your friend, don’t feel like you have to tiptoe around each other, and can support one another and laugh together, you’re probably doing just fine.

In Jen Hatmaker’s book Fierce Free and Full of Fire, she writes an entire chapter called, I Deserve Goodness. She reminds readers, “You deserve goodness. Full stop.”

To feel better about yourself, The Mayo Clinic says that you can combat negative or inaccurate thinking. The site challenges readers to adjust thoughts and beliefs by:

  • Using hopeful statements
  • Forgiving yourself
  • Avoiding “should” and “must” statements
  • Focusing on the positive
  • Considering what you’ve learned
  • Relabeling upsetting thoughts
  • Encouraging yourself

Find out who you are at the end of the day.

We’re all broken and cracked. But you don’t need to fill those cracks with someone else’s love and approval.

You need to love yourself first. Then, when you realize that you do not have to live up to everyone else’s expectations, you will indeed be free to live.

And as my son’s t-shirt says: You can’t please everyone. You’re not bacon.

So tell me, who are you for yourself at the end of the day?

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Heather Jauquet writes articles centered around the DMV and her adventures in other local communities. Follow her to get information about Montgomery County education, government, and community news. When she's not writing, she's running. Got a story to share? Email her:

Gaithersburg, MD

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