If you are reading this post right now… I’m sure you looked at the title and said to your self “Girrrrrllll… What?!” Believe it or not I have thought about the subject of being single for a while and decided to write a post, because well I feel like people need to hear what I have to say.
So here we go. If you have been following me for a while or have read any of my other previous posts, then you will know that I am single and have been for a long time. To be completely honest it use to hurt my feelings. Why??? Because I didn’t feel good enough, I didn’t think that anyone wanted to be with me, and so many other things that I had allowed to come in to my head. I thought that there was something wrong with ME!!! But, then as I learned to take more time to do what I love and gave myself a lot more self care and love I started to figure out that I am all good, I am all that and then some and I don’t need anyone to validate me except for well ME!! Trust me I had to do a lot of growing. This didn’t happen over night. I am so secure with myself now that I think it scares people a little bit.
There are a lot of things out there in society that are telling us that being single is not ok and that you need someone in your life to be complete and happy (happily ever after), which is far from the truth and no one is really sharing that. I watched a Ted Talk recently where this researcher talked about this subject and a lot of things that she said had me screaming out “Amen I hear you!!” (Video here). A lot of people run in to relationships looking for someone to fulfill something that they may have never had or to some how live this fantasy that doesn’t even exist.
I love that the self care and self love movement has grown so much over the past couple of years, because you need to be able to love yourself and work on what issues and insecurities that you may have alone. If you think about it in the end of it all if you didn’t have anybody else around all you have is YOU!!! Are you able to survive and take care of yourself with out anyone else? Would you be mentally and physically ok? A lot of people bring in their own personal issues and baggage in to a relationship and it starts to unpack and get ugly if it’s not handled correctly. I’m not saying not to be in a relationship and that you shouldn’t want one, but I think that while you are single take the time out to figure out what you want out of life. Date if you want to. Don’t date, make new friends and just kind of see where life takes you. We all go through different processes and chapters in life that are different from our friends and family. You know what it’s ok!! What would life be like if everyone did exactly the same thing???
I feel like there is this misconception that single people are sad and lonely, which in most cases is not true. It depends on who you are talking to. I personally love the freedom and I have plenty of friends if I need to call someone up to go out to with. Girls nights are the best nights in my opinion. I have learned to be open to what ever comes in to my life and being single is not bad, it is just the chapter in life that I am currently in. I have said this before, I am not in a hurry to jump in to a relationship with just any man. Relationships take time and are not something that should be rushed allow yourself to live freely and not be worried about what others may be thinking. It is ok to be happy by yourself, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You are all you need and the extras are just perks that come along with the package of life.
I hope that in whatever phase of life you may be in that you allow more time for YOU!! Relationship or not you should have things that allow you to be independent, happy and not have to rely on the comfort of others to bring in that piece for you.