Freelancer called out for not waking up 35-year-old Engineer Boyfriend for work on time

Gillian Sisley

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

A Reddit post has sparked a discussion about a couple's morning routine and their differing responsibilities.

The author, a 29-year-old woman, describes how she has been waking up her boyfriend, 35, to ensure he is not late for work. She explains:

“My 35-year-old boyfriend has been living with me since he landed his first engineering job 2 months ago. I have been the one to wake him up several times when I notice he's sleeping in. He has his first alarm at 7, then one at 7:10, and he has to leave at 7:45 max if he wants to get to his workplace by 8 am. I work from home, I'm a freelancer, so I have no need to wake up that early. On the times I realized he hasn't moved from bed and it was past 7:30, he would get really mad when I woke him up, yelling "Why didn't you wake me up sooner???".”

In this particular incident, she calmly informed her boyfriend of the time. He immediately became angry, as she continues:

“I wasn't really paying attention to the time, but I was using my phone as some clients were texting me already. I kept looking at my boyfriend from time to time, and he would open his eyes at me, smile, and nod, then close his eyes again. Here's where I might be in the wrong... I checked the time and it was already 7:37. I look at him calmly, he smiles, and I ask, "Do you know what time is it?", to which he answered, "Probably 7:25 or so", then he took his phone and saw it was 7:37 and rushed off to the bathroom, slamming the door.”

The Relationship Institute advises that it’s important for male partners to take responsibility for their own actions as it promotes equality and prevents the perpetuation of gender stereotypes. According to the NIH, shared responsibility in household chores and child-rearing is associated with higher relationship satisfaction and decreased feelings of unfairness, contributing to happier and more equitable partnerships.

The author argued that it is ultimately her boyfriend’s responsibility to manage his own time and ensure he is on schedule for work, not hers:

“As he was putting his clothes on, he was arguing, "It's a cruel move of yours to not tell me the time earlier, because of that I'm going to be late and will leave without even brushing my teeth!". I told him that I didn't mean to make him mad, but that being on time for HIS work isn't MY responsibility, to which he said, "If you are awake and capable of helping out, but you decide not to, then you are a bad person".”

What do you think?

Was the author indeed in the wrong to have not been more intentional about waking up her partner, knowing that he was going to be late for work?

Or is the author not her partner’s parent, and for that reason, he should take accountability for his own actions, and he needs to man up and make sure he wakes up for his own job?

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