*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*
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A Reddit user posted about a recent argument with their spouse over a seemingly trivial issue that escalated into a major disagreement.
The couple had plans to go out to dinner with their extended family, but faced a two-hour wait at the restaurant. The author explains further:
“We had plans to go out to dinner tonight. We took two cars. We get to the restaurant and the wait ends up being two hours long, so my wife calls her sisters waiting in the car and they immediately agree to go back to the rental to eat dinner. The sisters will pick up groceries to make mozzarella cheese and tomato basil sandwiches for dinner. I know my kids will not eat that, so I tell the wife I’m going to McDonald’s for the kids. The wife calls her sisters to make sure they don’t get offended as we’re going thru McDonald’s for the kids, and also to ask if we can order the nephew a Big Mac like he wants.”
The conflict arose when the author expressed their desire not to buy dinner for the entire group in the second car:
“Here’s where the fight started. I tell my wife not to offer to buy them dinner. I don’t want to buy everyone dinner tonight. I’ll buy everyone in my van dinner, but they’re in the car right behind us. If they want McDonald’s then they can drive thru the line. Also, I know they won’t pay us for whatever they want because we’re “family” and we’re sharing. I have no problem with sharing either. I’ve bought the most groceries for everyone.”
According to Focus on the Family, a successful way to manage conflict with a spouse regarding their family is through active listening and empathy. Taking the time to understand their perspective and validating their feelings can help foster a sense of understanding and mutual respect in the relationship, as detailed by the One Love Foundation.
Still, his wife went ahead and asked, although he didn’t want her to:
“My wife, of course, asks them if they want anything. Now, my first thought was I didn’t want to buy combo meals for everyone but that didn’t happen, they just wanted two milkshakes, but at this point, I was already upset that she asked.”
The author concludes with:
“She didn’t offer to buy the kids dinner or anything else, but just milkshakes. She then proceeded not to talk to me for the rest of the ride home. She doesn’t talk to me when we got home, I go to the bedroom for 30 minutes and when I come back I ask her if she’s still mad and she is. I end up drinking alone on the front patio all night until everyone goes to bed. We did talk for ten minutes on the patio where she told me I was unreasonable and “overly aggressive”.”
What do you think?
Was the author justified in refusing to pay for everyone’s dinners at MacDonald’s, especially since he already bought everyone groceries and that was enough of an expense?
Or was the author indeed being petty by getting upset about the prospect of buying food for the rest of the family, and he should have just sucked it up and shut up?
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