35-year-old man living with in-laws for 3 years makes joke about girlfriend’s ‘Lazy, Unemployed’ Mother

Gillian Sisley

Living with one’s in-laws for three years can be a trying situation, as highlighted in a Reddit post.

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

A 35-year-old man starts off by explaining that he’s been unable to escape the living arrangements brought on by his girlfriend’s parents’ precarious financial situation, as explained in the post:

“I live with my girlfriend and her parents (65M and 64F) in a house that my girlfriend was apparently strong-armed into buying by her parents 3 years ago when their business went south and they were worried they wouldn't have anywhere to live. My girlfriend and I were originally both renting separately. She said she realized it wasn't ideal for me to live with her parents so she'd be happy for us to rent somewhere else to live, but the mortgage on the new house was the top of what she could afford so I'd have to pay for the whole rental. To get a rental she liked would have meant me spending three times what I was used to paying, so I said no and moved into her house.”

According to The Guardian, up to 52% of young people were living at home with their parents during the pandemic in order to save money in an effort to afford rising housing costs. A separate study, from Pew Research Center, found that more than half of all adults in the United States aged 18-29 are living with one or both of their parents in late-2019, an increase of 8 percentage points since 2008.

It was an impossible decision, so the author chose to remain in his girlfriend’s home. While he admits to paying the market rate for a room in the house, he notes that both of her parents have been unemployed since they arrived. The author continues:

“I work full time and pay what full market rent would be for a room in her house. Her parents haven't worked since moving in, apart from about a brief time when one of my girlfriend's friends got her Mum a job in a supermarket, which she quit after about 4 weeks because apparently, the manager was abusive. I see her Dad apply for jobs and get rejected, but her Mum doesn't do anything from what I can see. They do very little around the house in terms of cooking, cleaning, etc. I'm not saying they should, but if I lived somewhere rent-free somewhere my daughter paid for, she wouldn't have to lift a finger around the house. Maybe that's just me.”

It seems, however, that matters came to a head with a comment between his girlfriend and himself. The author concludes with:

“Yesterday my girlfriend made a throwaway comment about how she hopes she has her Mum's figure when she's that age, and how her Mum has the arse of a 21-year-old. I said I couldn't comment as she's not been off it for 3 years, so I can't remember what it looks like. My girlfriend is now upset with me and says I should be more respectful about her Mum. I feel I put up with a lot. It's not easy to be 35M and live with your in-laws for 3yrs.”

What do you think?

Was the author justified to make a comment about how lazy his mother-in-law is, and it was just a harmless joke that his girlfriend shouldn’t take too seriously?

Or was the author indeed being unfair, even though the situation isn’t ideal, and one should never be that disrespectful of their in-laws?

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