Widower claims he’ll make sure 8-year-old daughter will not grow up to be ‘loose’: ‘Terrible she’ll be raised by you’

Gillian Sisley

Walking into the housewarming party in good spirits, no one was anticipating the drama that ensued near the end of the night, as explained in a Reddit post.

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

What was supposed to be a joyous occasion of homecoming between two long-time friend groups quickly escalated to a point of confrontation and a very serious conversation about gender roles and stereotypes. The author explains further:

“My boyfriend and I bought a house together and recently moved into it and decided to have a housewarming party. We invited some of my friends and some of his friends. He and his friends stayed a bit longer than expected so it was just me, my boyfriend, and his friends near the end of the night. I’ll cut to the chase and say they were doing “guy talk” over a few beers and one of the guys there brings up his past treatment of women in his younger days basically saying he was very friendly with lots of women.”

As the anecdotes of promiscuity amongst the group circulated, the atmosphere took a noticeably darker turn as the conversation shifted to the disadvantages and expectations placed upon women and their responsibility to be “sheltered” from bad behaviors. The author continues:

“All of the guys there then began talking more and becoming a lot grosser in the way they were talking about women. And it was pissing me off but I held my tongue and planned to bring it up to my boyfriend sober. That was until the guy who started the conversation said that he was going to raise his daughter not to be “easy” and she won’t grow up to be a “loose woman”. In saying this, he gave some rules he would put on her to prevent her from growing into a ‘ho’.”

This story reveals the complexity of addressing gender roles and stereotypes in a public and social setting, and how even the best of intentions may be met with opposition, as explained by OHCHR. It’s these moments and conversations that have the potential to shape policy and open communication regarding gender roles, and break down boundaries for an equitable and just future, according to Government Accountability Office.

The author had reached her end, and couldn’t hold her tongue anymore. She explains:

“This was the straw that broke the camel's back and I snapped. I told him that I feel terrible that his daughter is going to end up being raised by him and that she won’t have a mom to shield her from him and his rules. For context, he is a widower and a single parent to his 8-year-old daughter. My statement was met with silence and then an explosion of noise chirping at me that I was the bad guy. My boyfriend called it a night and asked everyone to leave.”

The boyfriend was not pleased with his girlfriend’s behavior, as she concludes with:

“The next morning he told me that I was horrifically out of line and demanded I publicly apologize. I tell him that nothing I said was wrong. He said he didn’t care and that I needed to say something.”

What do you think?

Was the author justified in saying something to the widower, since he was being sexist and misogynistic with his words?

Or even though the father was saying things that were out of line, it was not the author’s place to say something so cruel to a widower and single father?

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