New dad plans to go on 4-day bachelor party, will leave wife home alone with newborn 4-month-old

Gillian Sisley

A soon-to-be mother has found herself in a difficult situation. Her husband has been invited on an abroad bachelor party, which would occur when their newborn would be 4 months old, which she laments about in her Mumsnet post.

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

The author, an expectant mother, starts off by explaining that her husband was invited to a bachelor party, which would take place in September, after the baby is born in May. The details made the author even moreso nervous, as she explains:

“Obviously I’m fine with him going but originally it was Fri-Sun, he’s just confirmed the dates and it’s Thursday-Sunday and the flight times means he’d be gone 6am on the Thursday until 10pm on the Sunday. Plus I don’t think he’ll be very helpful for at least a day on his return.”

According to, the first few months of having a newborn can be incredibly challenging and overwhelming, with sleepless nights and a steep learning curve for parents. A study conducted by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that over half of first-time mothers experienced depression or anxiety during the first year of their baby's life.

The newly confirmed dates meant the trip would be one night longer than was initially planned, and the mother is unsure of how to handle the situation:

"I know the baby will be 4 months by then but would it be unreasonable for me to ask him only to do 3 nights? I don’t know if I’m being [too overbearing] with it being my first baby and it is only one extra night than he thought.”

She is worried that she may be overreacting, as four nights seems like an especially long time for a bachelor party, and her husband will also be away for nights due to a work conference in the US.

The author has received a variety of responses from fellow posters, with some advising her not to feel guilty for wanting her husband around, and others noting the importance of him having the time to let loose and have fun. One user wrote:

"Don't feel selfish for wanting him around -- it's normal for you to want your partner with you at this stage. However, it's also normal for him to want some time away from the baby and from you, to recharge and have some fun with his friends."

Another user suggested that the mother be understanding of her husband's need for a break, and split the four nights into two trips. They wrote:

"It might be worth considering compromising with him and suggesting he goes for two nights and then come back for a few days and go again for the other two nights. That way you get a bit of time to yourself and time with him."

What do you think?

Is the author completely justified to request her husband only stay away for 3 days rather than 4, as she’s concerned about being responsible for her new baby all on her own for several days at a time?

Or does she need to recognize that her husband will need a break at that point, and should be allowed to go out and enjoy himself to let off some steam, and she should suck it up?

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