Mother-in-law offers $150K for son's wedding on two strict conditions: ‘I don't care about any other details’

Gillian Sisley

The wedding planning process can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to who will be invited. This is the dilemma facing a Reddit author who is throwing an extravagant wedding for her son and his bride-to-be.

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

The author begins by explaining that her 26-year-old has offered to pay for the wedding with two stipulations: they use a wedding planner and they invite 8 of the author's close relatives. The author clarifies further:

“I have 3 kids, the one pertaining to this post is 26. Caleb has been with his fiance Ashley for 4 years and they recently got engaged. I have offered to pay for their wedding, with two stipulations They use a wedding planner- I feel this is essential due to the size of the event and the amount of money going into it. I have 8 people I'm inviting (older relatives that I'm close with).”

The couple agreed to use a wedding planner and said they will look for one they feel comfortable with, but the bride is uncomfortable with the author's relatives being invited, as she has only met them a few times. The author clarifies the stipulations:

“The wedding is going to be a very large and grand affair she comes from a very large family and we have a very large family. We're expecting 300 to 400 guests and I've given them a budget of $150,000 USD. Caleb says he doesn't care but it makes Ashley uncomfortable since she doesn't know them that well and it's her day.”

This dilemma is a tricky one. On one hand, the author is footing the bill for the entire wedding, and should be able to invite their close relatives. However, it is the couple's special day and if the bride is uncomfortable, that needs to be taken into account, as detailed by The Pinkards. It’s always better to show some flexibility and work together as a family rather than push for something that makes others uncomfortable, as suggested by Bridal Guides.

Ashley's family is accusing the author of being tacky and rude, despite the fact that they aren't willing to contribute financially to the event. The author concludes with:

“I don't care about any of the other details of their wedding whatever they choose is fine as long as I get the two things that I want. So Reddit, am I [in the wrong]?”

The author received a variety of responses from the community. One user advised,

“I think you are being more than reasonable and thoughtful. You are paying for the wedding. You should be able to invite who you want. This is the key...out of several hundred [ you only want 8]?? Yeah, you’re [not in the wrong]. If they wanted an intimate wedding with 30 people and you're taking 1/3 of the list? Different story.”

Another author warned:

“It’s not your day, it’s theirs. If it matters to them, then you should respect that.”

What do you think?

Is the author justified in wanting to have a say in 8 out of the 400 guests on the list, especially as she’s funding the $150,000 wedding?

Or does it not matter at all whether the author is funding the wedding, and the bride and groom should have the ultimate say over who they want invited?

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