Introverted mom of 2 who doesn’t want in-laws visiting grandkids due to overwhelm considers banning them

Gillian Sisley

As a parent, juggling work and family life can be an exhausting challenge, as outlined in one Mumsnet post in which a woman shares their dilemma with visitors who arrive unannounced and often stay longer than expected.

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

For many, the weekend is a time for rest and relaxation, but for others, it can come with unwelcome visitors. The author starts off by explaining that she’s finding it harder these days to juggle things, as she details in her post:

"Just wondering if anyone else feels the same…we have a 6 and a 1 year old and both work full time, our weekends are quite regimented to keep everyone busy and we all have a little routine. I’m finding increasingly that weekend (or weekday) visitors exhaust me!”

The visitors are mainly the in-laws who live three hours away and arrive every couple of months. The author noted that they felt awful for feeling anxious about the visits, and she was struggling to keep up with things. She continues:

“I feel awful as they do live far away so have to stay and like seeing grandkids, but they are quite loud, messy, opinionated people who always want to be talking and doing stuff a bit like having extra children in the house.”

According to the Guardian, increased stress levels from visitors can be especially hard for introverts—the presence of people can be stimulating and if it’s too much, they’ll need to take breaks to recharge. It's also important for introverts to plan for quiet time after visitors leave to decompress. This can be as simple as taking a walk, reading a book or meditating, as explained by Psych Central.

The author suspects that the feeling of being overwhelmed is due to being an introvert and asked if anyone else experienced the same feeling and had any tips. The author concludes:

"Even with the help they give entertaining the kids and doing the cooking, I just feel physically exhausted and anxious to be out of my routine and not able to ‘be myself’ when they are here. They came in the middle of the week the other month and had to stay longer than expected due to an emergency—I could have cried."

It's understandable that the author is feeling overwhelmed by unexpected visitors, especially since they are caring for two young children and working full-time. Between the extra noise, mess and disruption to their routine, it's a lot to handle.

Online users weighed in on the situation, giving their advice to the author. One wrote:

“Make some time for yourself if you can. And don't worry it'll feel weird the first time you say - 'right I'm off to bed/have a bath/out' but they'll get used to it as long as you are judicious and don't just decamp for the entire weekend.”

Another offered:

“Tell them you can't have visitors if it's too often—people telling you they're coming to your house is just rude, frankly.”

What do you think?

Should the author set some clearer boundaries and tell family members they can’t host visitors right now?

Or is hosting family, especially in-laws, just a part of life and she needs to suck it up and deal with it?

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