Fed-up woman who is desperate to escape controlling mother-in-law wishes to elope in secret ceremony

Gillian Sisley

A Mumsnet post is causing a stir online as a woman contemplates eloping to avoid the stress caused by her difficult mother-in-law.

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

The author and her partner, who are expecting a baby, planned a summer wedding but have run into issues with the mother-in-law. She explains in her post:

“One of the major issues is my mother-in-law is constantly disagreeing with everything we decide and being extremely difficult. She feels she should be a decision maker (she thinks she should be involved in meetings with the venue/suppliers etc - we’re not accepting a penny off her either!)”

The woman's family is suggesting postponing the wedding, but she and her partner still want to get married. Eloping seems like a romantic solution, but it also could be seen as disrespectful to her mother-in-law. The author wrote:

“It’s been one thing after the other, she started a war because I didn’t invite her on my hen do (all other guests in their late 20s/early 30s and she’s in her mid 70s!), I only wanted my mum and best friend for wedding dress shopping, we wasn’t inviting her cousins who we had never met, DP didn’t involve her with the proposal or use the ring she wanted him to use etc etc. MIL has tried a new tactic of now threatening that her and FIL won’t be attending the wedding.”

Elopement is becoming an increasingly popular way to get married, though statistics show that couples who elope are 12.5% more likely to get divorces. That said, couples from all over the world are choosing to elope, with data showing that 91% of millennials would consider elopement.

The couple is understandably stressed about their situation. It is understandable why they would want to elope and avoid all the fuss, but eloping could be seen as a lack of respect for the mother-in-law. She continues:

“I love the idea of eloping, very romantic, the day is just about us and we get married without all the faff. My partner keeps saying he’d love to elope but it’s disrespectful and quite rightly he’ll be disowned.”

The Mumsnet post has sparked a discussion on the issue, with some saying eloping could be seen as disrespectful and others arguing that it is a romantic and stress-free solution.

One user wrote,

“If it were me, I would make a compromise with the MIL. Talk to her about her expectations and try to find a middle ground. Try to find a way to make her feel special and included without making it too stressful for you.”

What do you think?

Should the couple absolutely elope if that’s what they want to do, and it’s no one else’s decision but their own, and they should have the wedding they want?

Or would it be selfish for the pair to elope, because then the rest of their family will miss out on the celebration?

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