Women suffering from domestic violence pleads with her colleague to let her stay the night, despite husband’s refusal

Gillian Sisley

A woman has been forced out of her home by her husband, and has sought refuge at her work colleague's house. However, the situation has now become more difficult, and the Mumsnet user is no longer sure what to do.

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

The author begins by explaining that without any notice, a colleague she isn’t close to showed up on her doorstep along with her daughter. The author explains:

“Work colleague (we are friends but admittedly nowhere near close friends) turned up at my house around 30 minutes ago crying with her daughter. She had her bags and stuff in her car. She was asking if she could stay the night as her husband has kicked her out after she said she didn't feel safe with him anymore, I probably should have asked more about what happened to make her not feel safe. She asked if she can sleep at ours for the night.”

The Domestic Violence Prevention Centre explains that it’s important to understand that women in crisis following a domestic violence incident are in a very difficult and dangerous situation, and anyone who wishes to help a person in a crisis situation should not put themselves in danger as well. There are a variety of ways to help a woman in a crisis situation, such as referring them to a domestic violence support program, as suggested by Very Well Mind.

The author was willing to help, but her husband refused to let her stay, and even disallowed his wife from having any contact with the mother and her daughter. The author continues:

“Before I could even say anything my husband jumped in and said no. I would probably have said yes as we have enough room. I told her I’d speak to my husband and gave her some money to get a coffee with in the meantime, I told her to text me with what coffee shop she’s in and then once I’m dressed and once I’ve spoken to my husband I’ll come and get a coffee with her and check she’s ok. She’s now texted me with what coffee shop she’s in but my husband is telling me not to go as I apparently ‘shouldn’t get involved’.”

This has left the author wondering whether she’s the one being unreasonable, or her husband is. She concludes:

“There’s no way he’ll let her sleep here tonight if he doesn’t even want me to go to a coffee shop with her and check she’s ok. What do I do? Am I being unreasonable to think my husband is in the wrong here and is being insensitive to her?”

This has left the original poster in a quandary over what to do, and has asked Reddit for advice.

Many Redditors have responded in agreement that the poster's husband is being insensitive and is in the wrong. One user said:

"Your husband is being terrible, and you are being kind."

Another user stated:

"He has no right to say what you should and shouldn't do with your time.”

What do you think?

Should the author defy her husband and help her colleague find a solution, even if it’s not letting her stay at her home for the night?

Or is her husband right in that it’s none of her business, and she’s best to stay out of it and not get involved?

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