17-year-old who only plays video games told to go to university, get a job, or 'get out' by frustrated father

Gillian Sisley

A teenage boy who has no interests other than his computer has been given the ultimatum by his father to go back to school, get employment, or be kicked out of the house. The father has written a Reddit post to find out whether or not his ultimatum is fair.

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

The author, a father of three children, laments that his oldest son has 'no intention of doing anything' after high school.

For this reason, the author decided to present their son with three options for how to move forward, as he explains in his post:

“I gave him the same ultimatum my parents gave me. Either go to university, get a job, or [get out]. I chose to travel the world for two years. I had a lot of sailing experience and my father had a lot of friends in that community so I was able to sail around the world earning money and working my [butt] off. It wasn't a two year vacation.”

Deciding what to do after high school is a big choice and a milestone that every young adult goes through. There are plenty of options other than university or college, such as joining an apprenticeship, starting a business, joining the military, and much more that will allow them to become a self-sufficient and productive member of society.

The author explains that he comes from a well-off family, but doesn't want his son to take advantage of that fact. However, his wife doesn't completely agree with his methods:

“My wife thinks that I'm being unfair to our poor baby boy by throwing him out into the world. I'm not. We have the money to pay for his university. We have the money for all three kids.”

He adds that he and his wife agreed before they got married that they would raise productive members of society, but it seems she has since changed her tune.

“Her and my son think I'm being cruel to expect him to fend for himself at 18. I have offered him multiple opportunities to do other things. He has no interest in anything beyond his computer.”

The author feels like he's at a loss, and isn't sure if he's in the wrong for 'expecting an adult to adult'. But still, his wife insists on coddling their nearly adult child, as he concludes:

“My parents have already told him that they will not be giving him any money if he isn't in school or working. My wife is threatening to use her salary to support him. I don't have any say in that. I won't actually kick him out of the house but I will stop paying his bills and cut off our grocery budget by 20%. If she wants to work so he doesn't have to there is nothing I can do about that.”

Data from October 2020 found that 62.7% of high school graduates in the United States were enrolled in college or university. These numbers are smaller than in the last few years, and the pandemic has been blamed for this based on a lack of income, poverty, and minority disparities that only became worse during the pandemic.

What do you think?

Is the author expecting too much of his 17-year-old, and not every young person has everything figured out once they turn 18?

Or is the author not expecting his son to have everything figured out, but just expects him to have a goal that he's working towards, which is not only reasonable to expect but is what a good parent does?

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