Grandmother who ‘favors’ biological grandchildren over step-grandkid chastised for treating stepchild as ‘less-than’

Gillian Sisley

A woman with both biological and step-grandchildren has been called out for showing favoritism toward certain grandchildren and not others. One of the parents has written a Reddit post to find out whether they handled the situation correctly.

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

The author begins by explaining that he is married with a 3-year-old daughter, as well as a stepdaughter, Liz, from his wife’s first marriage.

Despite being in his stepdaughter’s life for some time now, they’re not exactly close. He explains:

“Liz doesn't call me dad and usually refers to me as Mr my last name. I'll be honest that this bothered me a little, but this is what Liz feels comfortable with so I never pushed it. We're not close but we have a good relationship overall, and she loves Emma.”

While it’s a special thing for family to get together, and blended families make up about 40% of all households in the US, it isn’t always easy to blend two families under one roof. In cases where a stepchild may not accept their stepparent, there can be tension for everyone involved.

The author continues that they weren’t able to see his side of the family during Christmas, so they had a New Year’s celebration at his mother’s place, where the grandmother gifted some presents to her grandchildren.

Though the gesture sounds nice, not everyone was pleased with what happened:

“She got Emma some toys and Liz a sketch pad (she's an artist so it's not a random gift). Liz (and Kate) were disappointed, and Kate pulled my mom aside later (I was around) to say she shouldn't have given the gifts out in front of everyone and Liz is hurt.”

The grandmother didn’t take this confrontation well:

“Basically my mom ended up replying she went out of her way to get Liz a gift as a grandma, when Liz doesn't even consider me any kind of father figure. If they (Liz and Kate) have such an issue with the gifts, they can go ask Liz's real father for a gift.”

The author’s wife was very upset by this comment, and told the author his mother has ‘no respect’ for herself and her daughter. Though the author tried to defuse the situation, he also accused his wife of ‘causing a scene’ after ‘nitpicking about gifts’.

The author admits that the sketchbook was ‘significantly cheaper’ than the other gifts, and he concludes:

“Kate later got angry with me for saying that I should've defended her. It's been a couple of weeks and she's still a little upset with me.”

What do you think?

Was the grandmother in the wrong for giving a ‘less desirable’ perceived gift to her step-grandchild over her biological grandchildren, and being honest about how she feels?

Or are the author’s wife and stepdaughter just being greedy and materialistic, and should be glad that they’ve been accepted into the family, to begin with?

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