Foreign woman who is 'sick of friend' shamed for humiliating her in front of friends to prove a point

Gillian Sisley

A Brazilian woman living in America has been chastised by her group of friends for humiliating one of them as a way to ‘make a point’. She’s turned to Reddit to find out whether or not she was in the wrong for her behavior.

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

The author, a 25-year-old woman from Brasil, recently hosted dinner several weeks ago and had some friends over. As she is not American, there are some cultural differences that she does not quite comprehend. She explains:

“Everyone was having fun and the topic of moving out and charging your adult children rent came up. I’m not American and if I’m being honest I didn’t even know this was a common thing. I told my friends that in Brasil this would be looked down upon and that I didn’t know a single person who paid rent to their parents.”

Microaggressions are categorized as everyday acts of thinly veiled racism, sexism, homophobia, or other gestures, as explained by NPR.

The author added that she has 3 adult sisters who live at home rent-free with her parents, and that it’s fine if her friends don’t agree, but she won’t be charging her own children rent in the future.

One of her friends who does pay rent to her parents, however, didn’t quite agree with the author:

“My friend Amy (27F) said that someone from a third world country wouldn’t understand (?!?) and that my sisters shouldn’t freeload. I told her it wasn’t like that, my parents love to have them around and that it’s common, if not expected, to live with your parents until you get married/find a long time partner. Amy replied by saying that my culture is backwards. I tried to not get offended over her choice of words and said “agree to disagree”.”

Fast-forward to the most recent dinner, and the author informed her friends that her sister had gotten engaged, at which point Amy then asked if the sister was ‘finally going to grow up now’ or if ‘mommy and daddy will pay rent somewhere else’.

The author countered with:

“I was sick of her little comments and said that no, my sister is buying her own condo with my brother-in-law, and that maybe she could do the same soon if her parents didn’t charge her $1000 + utilities every month.”

A massive fight erupted between the two, and Amy stormed out of dinner. Some of the author’s friends think she should ‘apologize to keep the peace’, but the author doesn’t feel she should.

What do you think?

Are the friends right, and the author should apologize for offending Amy with her comments?

Or was the author justified to defend herself, and her culture, especially after Amy’s rude comments about the author’s culture?

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