New mom who kicked out her boyfriend demands 19-year-old help raise the fatherless baby with free childcare

Gillian Sisley

A woman who split with the father of her baby has now turned to her teenage friend to help raise the couple’s baby, but the teen is refusing to step up. She has written on Reddit about the incident to find out whether or not she’s in the wrong.

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

The author, a 19-year-old woman, begins by explaining that her 23-year-old friend, Jess, recently had a baby.

With that said, Jess recently turned to the author asking for help and support to raise the baby. The 19-year-old explains:

“I got a call from my friend Jess begging me to run to the shop for some baby formula, and other food essentials because she was so tired. I agreed. I got her some stuff and dropped it off and offered to nurse the baby so she could have a shower and cook some pasta. She was super happy and took up my offer.”

Very Well Family states that it’s common for parents to depend on family, friends, or loved ones to take on some child care duties as a favor from time to time. However, it is advised to be very careful when selecting who to ask such a favor of, and consider how frequently to make the request so as to not make loved ones feel taken advantage of.

That said, the author assumed that within the hour, her friend’s boyfriend—the father of the baby—would arrive to take the care of the baby off her hands. However, things didn’t quite go as planned:

“I ask if she’s going to be ok for half an hour until her boyfriend gets home. She tells me she kicked him out because he went to visit his mother whilst he had the baby and he hadn’t asked her first.”

The author made it clear that she thought Jess’s reason for kicking out her boyfriend was ‘ridiculous’, which Jess didn’t like the sound of. This resulted in a rather uncomfortable interaction:

“We sat in silence for a few moments before she asked me if I could help her the next day with the baby. I said no. She got really upset and asked why. I told her she needs to beg her boyfriend to come back since the baby is both their responsibility and whilst I’ll help out every now and then, I’m not going to become a substitute parent when the baby clearly has two loving ones.”

The author’s friend then asked her to leave, but reached out several days later with a surprising request:

“She told me to leave but then text me a few times later that day asking what days I was free the next week so she could get work done. I told her I love her, but she needs to get her act together and sort it out with her boyfriend.”

Jess took to their mutual friend group chat and complained about the author, and now all of their friends think the author was in the wrong for saying what she did.

What do

Is the author entirely justified to refuse to offer free child care to her friend, who she believes sent the father of the baby away for a ridiculous reason?

Or was the young mom justified to kick her boyfriend out after he took the baby to visit their grandmother without the mom’s permission?

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