A woman with plans to go back to school has been given a severe ultimatum from her husband, leading to her seriously considering divorce. She’s written a Reddit post about the dispute, and is asking for advice as to what she should do next.
*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*
The author, who married young at 23, has been with her husband for several years now. As is the case in all marriages, the couple had a life plan in mind which would involve sacrifices from both parties to ensure they could achieve their goals, both as a couple and as individuals.
The author clarifies in her post:
“By the time we were 23 neither of us had graduated college yet. So I decided then that because we still needed to survive, I would work to provide for us while my husband focused on earning his degree since he only had 3 years left for his degree. We came to an agreement that he would solely focus on finishing his degree so that he could in turn provide for us while I focused on med school solely down the line.”
With the current cost of living so high in the US, it can feel impossible to be able to get ahead while also meeting one’s basic needs, such as housing, food, and utilities. This is a common obstacle for those who want to upgrade their education, or go back to school, but are concerned about how they will financially survive juggling both.
It’s now 3 years later, and the author’s husband graduated with his engineering degree and landed his ‘dream job’. After all these years of being the financial provider so that he could focus on school, the author was finally ready for the tables to turn so that she could pursue her own dream.
However, when she reminded her husband of their original deal, things didn’t quite go as planned:
“I talk to him about school plans and he begins to say that he wants to start a family now and doesn't think we could work out starting a family and all my attention being on med school.”
She reminded him that this wasn’t what they originally agreed on, and was shocked by his response:
“He told me "well I think right now is the perfect time to start a family and I want one, so if you choose to go to school over our family, I'll be forced to part ways with you." I stood there in complete shock of what he said to me, but ultimately decided that I love my husband, but not enough to give up on my education/goal.”
She has decided to take him up on his ultimatum and pursue divorce, since she’s been providing for 3 years on the condition that they would switch roles so that she could pursue her dream as well, and her husband is now refusing to keep his end of the bargain.
What do you think?
Is the author entirely justified to leave her husband after he flipped the script and gave her such a heartless ultimatum?
Or does the author need to recognize that life is unpredictable, plans change, and that’s just the nature of marriage, which she needs to get used to if she wants to be married to someone?
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