Mother-in-law who demands a copy of the key to her son's house livid after daughter-in-law creates strict boundary

Gillian Sisley

A woman who is insistent on getting a key to her adult son's home has been deeply offended, not only by her daughter-in-law's refusal, but also by her actions. The daughter-in-law has turned to Reddit to find out whether or not she was wrong for what she did.

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

The author, a newly married woman, purchased a home with her husband recently. While this is meant to be an exciting time for everyone, her mother-in-law has been insisting on something that’s created some tension in the household.

The author explains further in her post:

“His mom started pestering us for a copy of the key in case of an emergency. I told her about the rule we have and that is "only residents get to have a copy of the key". She kept complaining and even got the family involved.”

Though it is a common practice for adults to give a spare key to another person in case of emergency, Calder Security warns against handing out too many keys. The more that are available, the higher the security risk that someone could enter your home without permission.

Despite the author laying out her clear boundaries, her mother-in-law continued to pester her. She responded in a way that angered her mother-in-law even more:

“Last week, she demanded a copy of the key sent to her. I decided to grab the copy of the key to HER HOUSE that my husband was keeping for years and sent it to her with a note saying ‘only residents get a copy so this copy is for the home YOU reside in’.”

The mother-in-law was furious that the author had done this, and started to talk bad about her and call her names to other family members.

The author's husband is also frustrated with her because he feels she escalated the situation, when she should have just stuck with a simple 'no'.

Though creating boundaries with loved ones is a natural part of life, it can be trickier with some family members compared to others. For example, newlyweds may find it challenging to instill boundaries with in-laws who don't necessarily agree with the boundaries that are being put in place.

What do you think?

Is the husband right in that his wife made the situation worse by mailing the mother-in-law's own house key back to her and reiterating the boundary that she'd set?

Or was the author entirely justified to stand by her boundary, while also being a little petty about the way she delivered the message?

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