Best man and dad of 2 refuses to attend sister's wedding after ‘child-free wedding’ means abandoning wife and kids

Gillian Sisley

A man who is standing in his sister and best friend’s wedding has ultimately refused to attend after he’s told that his two kids are banned from the reception. He has now turned to Reddit to find out whether or not he was in the wrong for his decision.

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

The author, a father of two, who was looking forward to the wedding of his sister and best friend next month, is meant to stand as Best Man during the ceremony. The bride and groom also asked for the author’s two kids to be the Ring Bearer and Flower Girl.

He continues that his sister decided she wanted to have a ‘snow wedding’ in the cabins they used to go to as kids. The author was excited about the celebration, until he was told last minute that the wedding was ‘child-free’.

He explains:

“Apparently, they want the kids to perform their duties at the wedding but then not attend the reception. That means either my wife or I will have to be there with them alone in the cabin while everyone is "partying it up", but wait, I'm the best man and will be conducting the reception so it's just going to be my wife.”

As child-free weddings are growing in popularity, according to Today’s Parent, many can find this arrangement to be insulting. Child-free weddings often come with an additional cost for the parents to find expensive childcare, when they are already often paying for a hotel, transportation, and a wedding gift.

The bride and groom expected the author to ‘abandon’ his wife and two kids under the age of 7 to spend the evening in a tiny cabin, he was horrified. He clarifies that the cabins are not child-proofed and have very little cell reception, and ultimately feels insulted by their expectations.

“I think it's incredibly rude to invite someone to a destination wedding where they are only allowed to attend the wedding. Although my wife says she can manage, I refuse. She's not being treated like a guest but as the babysitter for the ring bearer and flower girl."

The author gave his sister and best friend a call, trying to find some sort of compromise. He asked whether his kids could just stay for the meal and toasts, but the couple said ‘no’.

He then asked if he could just go completely child-free and leave his kids at home with a sitter, but the couple again said ‘no’. He finally asked if he could just attend the wedding ceremony and then retire to the cabin with his wife, but the couple still said ‘no’.

The author has ultimately decided that if the bride and groom are unwilling to compromise in any way, then he and his family will not attend the big day, period.

What do you think?

Is the author making the right call, considering the bride and groom are making unreasonable demands of himself and his family?

Or should the author just suck it up for one day, since it’s his sister’s and best friend’s wedding and his wife has already said she’s willing to manage the childcare for the evening?

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