Divorced dad who is caring for 9-year-old post-surgery refuses to let ex visit son due to ‘custody agreement’

Gillian Sisley

A man who co-parents his son along with his ex-wife has refused to let his ex help care for their son following surgery, citing their custody agreement as the reason. He has now turned to Reddit to find out whether or not he’s in the wrong for this decision.

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*

The author, a divorced father of 1, explains that he co-parents his 9-year-old with his now ex-wife. They share 50/50 custody of their son, Ry.

When it comes to co-parenting with an ex-spouse following divorce, experts suggest that the key to doing so is separating personal feelings from the common goal of raising a happy and healthy child.

That said, their son recently had hip-bone surgery. They scheduled the surgery weeks before, but the day before surgery, his ex-wife asked if she could instead care for Ry post-surgery.

The author’s response to this request was not a positive one:

“I said no. Ry has never had surgery and it's a big deal for him. I don't want him to think that the first thing you [do] when you face something scary is run to your mom and not your dad. I told her I was quite insulted by her request.”

He continued to lecture her based on their custody agreement, thus he refused to let their son go anywhere other than his home after surgery.

That said, his ex then asked if she could visit their son following surgery, but still, he refused, as he details in his post:

“The agreement is that we have scheduled FaceTime with him when he's at the other parent's house. I don't want my ex wife in my home anymore than she wants me in hers.”

According to Very Well Family, successfully co-parenting with an ex-spouse should include communicating effectively, following an agreed-upon parenting plan, and keeping exchanges quick and friendly.

The author has held firm in his refusal to let his ex-wife visit their son at his home post-surgery, but ever since then, there’s been a lot of tension between them. Despite this, he ‘doesn’t care’ and refuses to apologize for ‘not giving her what she wanted’.

What do you think?

Did the author do the right thing in following their custody agreement, and refusing to allow his ex-wife to visit their son after a serious surgery?

Or is the author being incredibly petty here, and he should be willing to bend the rules a little so that his son can see his mom after what is likely going to be a very scary situation for him?

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