A horrified man has turned to Reddit after discovering his wife told his stepchildren that their sick father had died and was ‘never coming’ to see them ever again. He felt distraught after learning this, as the children were obviously devastated. He’s now unsure of how to proceed in his marriage after making a shocking decision behind his wife’s back.
*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*
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The author, a stepfather to 3 children, starts off by explaining that his wife gained full custody of her kids after her ex-husband became seriously ill, and is unlikely to get better.
The children—ages 4, 6, and 9—would rarely get to visit their grandparents or sick father, simply because his wife wouldn’t take them. He continues:
“Their dad's health got worse and she just stopped taking them to see him. She claimed she was "protecting them from being traumatized" but in my opinion, this is the time when they should've seen him the most.”
The death of a parent has a significant impact on a child’s mental health and overall well-being, as detailed by Hospice Sacred Heart. Though there is no amount of data that can indicate the depth of this grief, it is alive and real, and must be navigated by the remaining adults in the child’s life with grace, and in a healthy, intentional way.
Though the author thought the worst part was that his wife stopped the visits, he’s recently discovered that she’s gone much further than that:
“The latest stunt was finding out that she actually lied to them about him being dead. I was shocked and felt quite sick seeing the kids cry for days and looking depressed. I called her out on it and she said "it was the only way" to get them to stop asking about him and not pressure her into taking them to see him in that state.”
This situation resulted in the biggest fight the couple ever had in their marriage. After the argument, the author made a drastic decision by going behind his wife’s back, contacting their aunt, and coordinating a visit to the hospital to see their father.
This choice has caused massive family conflict between the children and their mother:
“The kids reacted intensely, especially the oldest, and refused to see her after the lie she told. She had a psychotic breakdown and started yelling at me saying she has been trying so hard to navigate this awful situation and I turned her own kids against her and demonized her when she only had their best interest at heart.”
His wife has since moved out, and is suggesting separation, either temporary or even permanent through a divorce. While the author’s in-laws are damning him for what he did, the kids’ family on their father’s side is grateful for what he did, but they have warned him that they plan to take legal action against his wife.
What do you think?
Did the author truly do the right thing for his stepkids, and should finalize a divorce ASAP with his wife to avoid suffering from the legal threat that he’s been warned is coming her way?
Or was it absolutely wrong of him to make this decision behind his wife’s back, and it was never his place to get involved in the situation at all, even though he completely disagreed with what she was doing?
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