A 24-year-old surrogate, who is currently carrying a baby for a married couple, has told the parents-to-be that they’re not allowed to touch her abdomen, which has offended them greatly. The surrogate has turned to Reddit to find out whether or not she’s being unreasonable by refusing their request.
*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*
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The author, a 20-something surrogate, explains that she’s 6 months pregnant and is carrying a baby for two expectant parents.
Though things went smoothly at the beginning, they’ve recently taken a turn, as she explains in her post:
“The wife stated that she’s always wanted to experience feeling the kicking and moving baby. They have been constantly asking me to touch my stomach and I always politely decline as it is uncomfortable for me.”
According to American Surrogacy, it is within the client’s best interest to form a respectful and friendly bond with their surrogate, as the surrogate is carrying their child. Though it can be hard to give up control, parents are encouraged to respect their surrogate’s time, and boundaries, and listen carefully to the surrogate’s needs and wants.
Things recently came to a head at a doctor’s appointment, when the author’s boundaries were once again crossed without a second thought. The mother-to-be reached over and touched the author’s belly. The author again requested that the mother not touch her belly.
This reminder of the surrogate’s request was not received well by the mother-to-be:
“She snapped at me and said I was ruining the experience for her and it’s her baby she should be able to feel her kick. I snapped back and said that it may be her baby but it’s my body and that if she really wanted to feel her baby kick she should’ve gotten pregnant herself.”
American Surrogacy also indicates that the most important thing to remember is that the surrogate is their own person, and that the surrogate is taking on an incredible undertaking by carrying a person’s child. Respect is absolutely key.
Ever since the appointment, the author has been receiving text messages from the father of the child, telling the author she’s in the wrong for ‘yelling at his wife’ for wanting to ‘bond with her child’.
What do you think?
Is the author entirely within her legal and moral right to still have boundaries around the use of her body, even though she’s carrying someone else’s child?
Or should she compromise on her comfort levels to allow the mother of the child she’s carrying to feel her baby kick, since this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing?
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