A woman is refusing to pressure her granddad to give an expensive diamond to her stepsister, and has written a Reddit post to find out whether or not she's in the wrong for this decision.
*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media discussion boards and verified experts/specialists.*
The author starts off by explaining that her parents have been divorced for 15 years, and her father has since remarried his wife Laura, and they've been together for 10 years.
Along with gaining a stepmother, the author also gained two stepsisters. Her father considers his stepdaughters to be his legitimate daughters, and treats them the same as he does his biological daughter.
HelpGuide.org advises that there are several things to avoid when attempting to blend two families together. For example, making too many changes at once may unsettle the children, and insisting on respect right away as a step-parent can backfire.
The author continues that her dad's father, aka. her own grandfather, has a diamond that originally belonged to her great-grandmother. This heirloom is considered a ‘family miracle’, because the author's grandfather was able to find it again after World War II. This heirloom was always meant to go to a woman in the family, as the author explains:
“Unfortunately, he lost his mother and sister in the war, so he saved the diamond to be for the next woman in the family (to be set into an engagement ring).”
She continues that her grandfather is very insistent on only passing family heirlooms along to blood-related family members. Due to this, he would not allow his daughters-in-law to inherit the ring because they were not blood-related to him.
The author also adds that she is her grandfather's only biological granddaughter, so he always planned to bestow the diamond to her. Though she didn't use it for her engagement ring, her grandfather plans to set the diamond into a necklace that she can wear on her wedding day.
However, her stepsister has her eye on the diamond as well, but when she asked the grandfather for it, the request didn't go well.
“Katie is going to get engaged soon. My dad is likely to be asked to walk her down the aisle. Laura asked that my grandfather give her the diamond for her ring, since she is basically my father's daughter. My grandfather said, and I quote, "not even over my dead body", and that the diamond will stay in the family. That said, Laura, my dad, and Katie are now extremely upset.”
According to Nelson and Nelson Antiques, family heirlooms are so important because they can 'bring past generations into the present'. There is a lot of family history and culture that comes along with an heirloom, making it a very unique and precious item within a family unit.
The author's father is now trying to persuade her to ask her grandfather to give the diamond to her older stepsister anyway, because he views Katie as his oldest daughter anyways. The author, however, is not comfortable with this request, as she details in her post:
“I said no because I would feel too guilty. That diamond is all my grandfather has left of a family he lost in the most horrific circumstances when he was 9 years old. That stone is literally all he has to remember them. What right do any us have to dictate what he does with it?”
Her father and stepsisters are now very angry with her, stating that they're upset that she's letting her grandfather ‘exclude’ the stepsisters from the family.
What do you think?
Should the author indeed view her stepsister as a legitimate member of the family, and try to pressure her grandfather to see them the same way and pass along the family heirloom?
Or considering that the diamond is the property of her grandfather, he is entirely within his right to give it to whomever he pleases, and no one else should have a say in where it goes?
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