'Elitist' Mother Refuses to Purchase Nice Christmas Gift for 'Poor' Nephew

Gillian Sisley

Is it ever okay to treat family members differently based on their financial status?

The Christmas season is meant to come along with a lot of joy, celebration, and happiness. However, many people find that the holidays bring something other than warm, fuzzy feelings.

Whether it’s unpleasant feelings toward loved ones, or a questionable value system, family drama can come along with extra force during the holidays to complicate things.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a woman, who buys presents for all of the children in her family, purchases a far cheaper gift for one of her nephews because his parents are ‘poor’.

Is it ever okay to treat family members differently based on their financial status?

A Reddit post published on November 25, reported on by Taylor McCloud from Newsweek, has gone viral with 10,700 upvotes and 2,400 comments.

The author begins her post by explaining that she and her husband buy Christmas gifts for all of the children in their family every year. She and her husband are comfortable in their financial situation, and will be buying gifts for 6 children this year.

With that said, she includes that her husband’s family immigrated to the US, and thus his family members tend to work ‘mostly labor jobs’ that are more low-paying, some also being undocumented. Still, the author is happy enough to spend $30-$100 on each child in the family, because she knows their parents will buy ‘gifts of equal value’ for her kids.

With that said, one of her husband’s siblings has a wife and child aged 12, and they’re ‘hardly making it’ financially. The father works a low-paying job, and his wife doesn’t work, which the author has a bit of a bone to pick with. She is ‘annoyed’ at the wife’s unemployment, and while she recognizes that she is ‘undocumented’, still feels she should be able to find work somewhere. Due to this fact, the author considers gifting their son a much cheaper Christmas gift than the rest of her nieces and nephews.

Should children have to suffer for their parent's financial choices?

The author justifies her choice to give her nephew a cheaper gift because she knows his parents ‘cannot reciprocate’ gifts back to her own kids. For this reason, the author bought a $15 Lego set for the nephew, while his cousins were all given gifts between $30-$100. She said she didn’t want to buy the child ‘nothing’ because she felt that would be ‘cruel’.

The author’s husband didn’t like the idea of the $15 Lego set alone, and wanted to add a few more items to the nephew’s gift. But the author refused, and told her husband that their nephew's mom ‘should get a job’ if they wanted nicer gifts for their child. She finishes her post by stating that she feels it ‘isn’t necessary’ to spend much money on people who ‘won’t actually give a gift back’.

What do you think? Is the author’s reasoning justified in that she should buy her nieces and nephews presents of value based on their parent’s annual income? Or is she truly being elitist by not giving the kids in her family gifts of equal value, all because she judges their parent’s life decisions?

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