'Selfish' Woman Refuses to Let Ex's 5-Year-Old Spend Christmas with Family

Gillian Sisley

Is it ever okay to exclude blended family members from holiday celebrations?

With the holiday season in full swing, there's plenty of time for family conflict to arise due to a number of different reasons.

Divorce can make the holidays even more complicated, resulting in separated people butting heads due to having very different feelings when it comes to navigating holiday celebrations.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a woman refuses to let her ex-husband's 5-year-old daughter attend Christmas dinner at her home.

Is it ever okay to exclude blended family members from holiday celebrations?

A Reddit post published on November 15th, reported on by Ashley Gale from Newsweek, has gone viral with 15,700 upvotes and 8,600 comments.

The author begins her post by explaining that she and her ex-husband have been divorced for 7 years, and they have a 13-year-old daughter together, who they share custody of. Her ex-husband has also gotten remarried, and he and his current wife have a 5-year-old daughter. The author explains that her 13-year-old gets along very well with her half-sister.

Unfortunately, her ex-husband's wife has been diagnosed with cancer. Because she is undergoing treatments, her ex doesn't see it possible for them to do anything significant for the Christmas holidays. And that was when he made a big ask of the author.

He has asked that not only their 13-year-old spend the Christmas holiday with the author's family, but has also asked that his 5-year-old daughter be included in the celebrations. He explained that he ‘didn't feel it was fair’ for his 5-year-old to miss out on Christmas because of her mom's illness, and that because his 5-year-old and their 13-year-old daughter got along so well together, it only ‘made sense’ for them to spend the holidays with one another.

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The author immediately refused this request, clarifying that her family’s holiday traditions are 'sacred' to her, and she wanted to keep them within her own family. Her ex argued that even though the 5-year-old isn't related to her, she is the half-sister of their daughter, and that the author should 'think carefully' about the suggestion and 'do what was right for the kids'.

She then suggested that the 5-year-old spend the holidays with her grandparents instead, but her ex confirmed that he and his is parents were no longer on speaking terms. When she outright refused again, he called her ‘cruel’ for excluding their daughter's half-sister. He then begin to cry on the phone, and she hung up on him because she wasn't comfortable continuing to chat. Her ex later texted her calling her ‘selfish and unfeeling’.

What do you think? Is the author indeed selfish, cruel, and unfeeling to not let her ex's 5-year-old daughter join her for Christmas? Or is it not at all her responsibility to include her ex-husband's child, who has zero relation to her, in her family holiday traditions?

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