Mother Refuses to Attend Daughter's Wedding After Ex-Husband is Invited

Gillian Sisley

Is it reasonable to expect divorced parents to be in the same room as one another?

It can be a devastating event when a married couple decides to get divorced or separate. That said, in cases where the relationship was extremely toxic, separation may be a massive relief to one or both spouses.

Regardless of the feelings between the separated couple, if they have children at the time of their separation, it can be tricky to navigate co-parenting together, especially in cases where there was toxicity or abuse.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a mom refuses to attend her daughter's wedding after she learns that her narcissistic ex-husband has been invited.

Is it reasonable to expect divorced parents to be in the same room as one another?

A Reddit post published on November 22nd, reported on by Leonie Helm from Newsweek, has gone viral with 10,500 upvotes and 2,200 comments.

The author begins her post by explaining that she has a 22-year-old daughter named Mia, and she is separated from Mia's father. She describes her ex as a narcissistic jerk, who was emotionally abusive and would often make the author cry. She has since remarried Mia’s stepfather, Christopher.

Mia's biological father left when she was 8 years old, but would still send $1,500 a month to the author for Mia’s care while he 'traveled the world'. The author's ex would often miss his daughter's birthdays, and would try to make it up to Mia by sending 'expensive gifts and money'.

The author and her current husband, who's been raising Mia since she was a child, have been chatting with Mia about the guest list for her upcoming wedding. When they brought up who would be walking Mia down the aisle, she would change the topic, until her stepfather came out and asked her bluntly. That was when Mia stated that her biological father would be walking her down the aisle.

Should biological parents always take precedence over step-parents?

Upon hearing this, Mia's stepfather protested, stating that he had ‘raised her since forever’ and it ‘wasn't fair’ for him to not be the one walking her down the aisle. At this point, Mia replied that her ‘real dad’ had bought her a car, paid for her surgery, and even sent her money to buy a dog. Her stepfather then left the house because he was so upset.

Seeing her husband so upset, the author told her daughter that if she invites her biological father to the wedding, the author would not loan her wedding dress or even come to the wedding. Mia then stormed out of the house, and family members have since messaged the author telling her that she's 'heartless' for what she said.

What do you think? Is the author entirely justified to refuse to attend her daughter's wedding if her ex is going to be there, especially after the hurtful things her daughter said to her current husband? Or is it entirely Mia’s choice who is present at the wedding, and the author should stop trying to impose her views and feelings?

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