Groom Stirs Controversy After Plans to Have Dance with Stepmom at Wedding

Gillian Sisley

Is it wrong to treat stepparents equally to biological parents?

If there's one thing that's guaranteed when it comes to wedding planning, it's that there will be some sort of familial drama that takes place along the way.

The risk for drama to ensue heightens when there are multiple families in the mix, including blended families or stepfamilies, and the like.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a groom is blasted for wanting to have a mother-son dance not only with his biological mother, but also with his stepmother.

Is it wrong to treat stepparents equally to biological parents?

A Reddit post reported on by Alice Gibbs from Newsweek has gone viral with 14,300 upvotes and 4,700 comments.

The author begins his post by explaining that he's 29 years old, and is about to get married. He also adds that his parents got divorced when he was 5. The divorce took place because his father fell in love with his current wife, the stepmother of the author, Alice.

His father and Alice claim they didn't cheat and waited until the author's parents were separated before anything happened. The author isn't sure if this is true or not, but he doesn't really care. His father married Alice and he's been living with them since he was 7 years old.

While his parents had joint custody as he was growing up, the author emphasizes that Alice was ‘100% a mother figure’ to him, and that they have been very close their whole relationship. Alice even helped pay for the author's college and grad school which he is really grateful for. However, throughout the course of the wedding planning process, some real conflict has developed.

Should biological parents and step-parents be weighed the same?

As he and his fiance were planning out their first dances, the groom decided that he wanted to have two mother-son dances, the first with his biological mother, and then a second with his stepmom Alice. He explains that Alice was ‘overjoyed and cried with emotion’ when he asked her. However, when his biological mother found out this was his plan, she was very upset.

The author's mother expressed to him that she felt like ‘he was replacing her just like his dad had replaced her’. He emphasized that it wasn't a replacement, but just that Alice was also an important maternal figure in his life, like a ‘bonus mom’. He didn't want to exclude her, and it didn't mean he felt like his own mother was any less of a mom to him.

What do you think? Is the author in the wrong for wanting to reserve the special mother-son dance not only for his biological mom, but for his stepmom as well? Or is it understandable why this would be a desire of his, since he comes from a blended family and has two very strong, positive maternal figures in his life?

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