Terminally Ill Father Denied Invite to Daughter's Party by Ex-Wife and Stepdad

Gillian Sisley

Who gets to decide the final guest list for a birthday party?

Being a teen is a difficult phase of life. For one thing, teenagers are dealing with an influx of hormonal changes that can throw their emotions all over the place. They are also in the process of trying to find their individuality and identity.

These difficulties can be made even more challenging when a teenager is navigating the separation of their parents, and figuring out how to maintain their parental relationships despite the divorce that has taken place.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a mother bans her ex-husband from her daughter's birthday party, which devastates the teen greatly.

Who gets to decide the final guest list for a birthday party?

A Reddit post published on November 22nd, reported on by Samantha Berlin from Newsweek, has gone viral with 12,300 upvotes and 5,200 comments.

The author begins her post by explaining that she is the mother of a 16-year-old daughter, whose birthday is just around the corner. She also adds the context that she is separated from her daughter's father, because he left when she was 4 years old.

She explains that while it's always been a complicated situation, her daughter Kelly's father always sent money along and his family would help from time to time. The author raised Kelly as a single mom, until she met her current husband Christopher, who is the ‘only father figure’ in her daughter's life.

The author also clarifies that her daughter Kelly recently reconnected with her biological father, which she wasn't stoked about, but she ‘didn't make a fuss’ about it. However, Kelly has been mentioning her biological father more often, and has been going out to visit him more frequently. The reasoning for this is that Kelly's biological father is potentially terminally ill, so she wants to spend as much time with him as she can.

Does a mother have the right to keep her child away from her father?

The author and her husband Christopher are currently planning Kelly's 17th birthday party, and Kelly approached her mom and stepdad and asked if her biological father could attend. Her stepdad, however, immediately refused. He stated that he 'won't let that man into his house'. Kelly pleaded that she wanted her biological father there since he ‘may not be around next year’, but are stepdad still stood firm in his refusal.

The teen then told her mom and stepdad that they were ‘robbing her’ of the chance to ‘make memories’ with her biological father before he passes. The author argued that she's not ‘comfortable’ being in the same room as him, and when Kelly kept trying to plead her case, her stepfather stormed out of the house and her mother 'threatened to cancel the whole party'.

What do you think? Are the author and her husband totally justified to refuse to let Kelly's biological father attend her birthday party, regardless of how much she wishes for him to be there? Or is it not their place to refuse her request, especially considering her biological father is terminally ill and may not be around in the near future?

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