Woman Refuses to Keep Paying for Boyfriend's Bills

Gillian Sisley

What does true equality look like in a relationship?

Modern day romantic relationships aren't always easy to figure out or navigate for a variety of reasons. Whether it's the complexity of the personalities working together, or trying to maneuver around societal and gender expectations, a lot of couples struggle with finding a comfortable equilibrium in today's society.

Especially when it comes to the topic of equality in relationships, there are a lot of conflicting opinions of what a ‘healthy balance’ looks like, from who pays for things to who takes on which household chores, etc. These debates go on and on.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a woman pays for every single meal her boyfriend ever eats, and begins to wonder if she's being taken advantage of.

What does true equality look like in a relationship?

A Reddit post published on September 15th, reported on by Ashley Gale from Newsweek, has gone viral with an impressive 22,600 upvotes and 6,500 comments.

The author begins her post by explaining that she is in a relationship with a man named Ricky who she's been dating for 5 months now. She adds that he's been divorced before, but doesn't refer to himself as being divorced because 'he was the one to call off the marriages'.

She then adds that he goes on long rents rather often about how she 'doesn't have the awful habits his exes had', or saying something like 'I hope you like this because my ex didn't'. He will compare the author to his ex-wives on a regular basis.

She then adds a bit more context saying that she recently had to get a new second job because she didn't have enough money coming in, and one of the reasons is because when they go out to eat Ricky will 'always make her pay for the meals', claiming he's 'going through a rough patch'.

Does ‘equality’ mean that women should pay for everything?

The author has objected to continuing to pay for all of Ricky's meals, but the message doesn't seem to be by setting in. For example, the author recently met Ricky's parents and went out for dinner with them. When they arrived at the restaurant, the first thing that Ricky asked her was whether or not she 'brought enough money'.

She asked why he’d asked that question, and Ricky clarified that he ‘told his parents that she would be paying for their meals’. When she asked why he would do that, he insisted that his parents were ‘also going through a rough patch’. She then made it clear that she would not be paying for their meals, but Ricky insisted she should. She still refused and flat out and said ‘no’ no. He then leaned back and laughed, saying ‘well, you're here, so not much of a choice you have anyway’.

That was when the author silently stood up, grabbed her phone and purse and walked out of the restaurant. Ricky was shocked that she did this and instantly yelled after her to ‘stop’, but she didn't. He called her later enraged that she walked out on him and his parents when she ‘could have just paid’.

She snapped back saying that their ‘unfortunate financial situation wasn't her problem’, and that she's not obligated to pay for their food or for his. He then accused her of ‘making money a priority just like his ex did’, and told her how ‘disrespectful’ she was for leaving the restaurant. He is now refusing to speak to her until she apologises.

What do you think? Was the author really being rude and disrespectful by walking out of the restaurant after she learned that her boyfriend expected her to pay for everyone's meals? Or was she completely justified to leave, and not only that but should also break up with her boyfriend because he's just using her for her money?

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