Woman Refuses to Get 'Very Large' Memorial Tattoo of Late Niece

Gillian Sisley

How accommodating should people be to someone else’s grief?

For a parent, there is no reality more horrific or impossible to imagine than losing a child and having to live with the grief of that significant loss. In the midst of such intense loss, many people will experience their recovery journey differently.

And during this grieving process, it is common for a person to lean on loved ones and family members for support as they navigate these tricky waters. But how far should a loved one’s support go?

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a woman demands that her sister get a ‘very large’ tattoo in remembrance of a child who passed away, but the sister refuses to do so and is labelled 'selfish' for it.

How accommodating should people be to someone else’s grief?

A Reddit post published on September 9th, reported on by Taylor McCloud from Newsweek, has gone viral with 5,900 upvotes and 1,700 comments.

The author begins her posts by explaining that her sister lost an infant daughter some time ago, and has been struggling to cope with her grief. As a way to process her loss, the author’s sister decided to get a large, photo-realistic tattoo of the baby. While this is understandable, she has made a rather odd request of her other family members.

The sister has requested that all of their immediate family get the exact same tattoo on their bodies. The author explains that she simply ‘can't go through with it’, for a variety of reasons. One of her major reasons being that she has a phobia of needles, as well as an objection to religious imagery, which is included within the tattoo her sister designed.

The author also points out that large tattoos are very expensive, but she was willing to take the hit of the cost if it could help her sister. With that said, she ultimately suggested an alternate design idea to her sister, that would in her mind equally honour her late niece.

Everyone grieves in different ways.

The author goes on to explain that her sister's baby was named after a flower, so the design that she suggested was a small bouquet of that flower to tattoo on yourself instead, which would be smaller and didn't include the religious symbols.

However, when she made the suggestion, her sister was very upset and called her ‘selfish’, saying that 'as a grieving mom her feelings have priority over the author's'.

She then told the author that she should feel 'privileged' to have the tattoo, and that the author is a 'horrible human being' for arguing with her while she is mourning.

What do you think? Should the author just bite the bullet and get the expensive tattoo design that she doesn't even like as a way to support her sister's grieving process? Or is it entirely possible for the author to support her sister through her terrible loss in a variety of other ways, and the grieving sister has no right to dictate what someone else does with their body?

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