'Deadbeat Dad' Refuses to Take 10-Year-Old Child Unless 'Conditions' Are Met

Gillian Sisley

Is a parent ever justified to ‘take a break’ from raising their kids?

Choosing to be a parent is a massive responsibility, and not one that should be decided lightly. A person should be absolutely certain that they are ready to sign up for their entire world being turned upside down.

With that said, not everyone takes their parental responsibilities seriously, resulting in a lot of family tension, and often strained or broken relationships with their kids. Children who are neglected or abandoned by a parent can suffer from significant mental anguish and psychological damage, well into adulthood.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which an absent father will only let his 10-year-old child stay with him under ‘certain conditions’.

Is a parent ever justified to ‘take a break’ from raising their kids?

A Reddit post published on August 12, reported on by Shira Li Bartov from Newsweek, has gone viral with 13,600 upvotes and 1,300 comments.

The author begins his post by admitting that he was a ‘terrible person’ back when his daughter was born. He didn’t make an effort to stay in her life, and since she is now 10-years-old he deeply regrets being absent.

He reached out to the mother just a few months ago, and asked if he could see his child. The mother was happy to agree, and said she would be ‘relieved’ to finally co-parent with him. The mother also has 4 other children, all younger than their 10-year-old child, Nova.

The author states that his daughter was ‘distant’ at first with him, and while she was well-behaved for the most part, he was concerned about her ‘disregard for discipline’. He clarifies that ‘no punishment seems to work on her’, and that she can be ‘very disrespectful’ at times. He adds that if he grounds Nova, she will simply leave without his permission.

Abandonment from a parent leaves deep scars.

Psychologists state that children who have been abandoned will grow up feeling unsafe and untrustworthy of their surroundings, or of other people. They are also at higher risk of developing anxiety related to the unstable and uncertain realities related to their abandonment.

The author concludes his post by stating that he’s noticed that Nova’s mother will only ‘yell and cuss at her’ when she misbehaves. With that said, last week Nova asked her father if she could live with him full-time. He said he would love to have her live with him, but only under the condition that she ‘follow his rules and be respectful’.

Nova went silent, and instead went home to her mom’s house. The author’s mother-–Nova’s grandmother—was present for the conversation, and when Nova left, she dug into her son for his cruel response. She told him that ‘if a kid is asking her deadbeat dad to take her in, there must be something very wrong so you don’t make conditions for her, you just say yes and take her in’.

What do you think? Was it reasonable for the author to put conditions on his daughter if she wanted to live with him? Or is he being cruel to her since he abandoned her for the first 10 years of her life, and is not receiving her request with unconditional love?

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