Stay-at-Home Mom Refuses to Work After Husband Takes Pay Cuts

Gillian Sisley

What should a true partnership look like in a marriage?

It’s estimated that about 40% of marriages in the US end in divorce, and anyone who has ever been married can probably understand why.

Marriage is not easy. It takes two people committing to one another day after day and vowing to put in the effort to grow and change through the seasons. Sometimes, people just grow apart, or become too different to stay together.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a stay-at-home mom refuses to go back to work, or find any sort of job, after her husband’s significant pay cut at work.

What should a true partnership look like in a marriage?

A Reddit post published on August 11, reported on by Sara Santora from Newsweek, has gone viral with 8,400 upvotes and 1,200 comments.

The author begins his post by explaining that things have been tough at work, and he unfortunately has had to take two pay cuts at work recently. He also adds that he ‘doesn’t have the luxury’ of looking for another job. This means that his household is now in a deficit, and they need to bridge the gap.

He clarifies that he and his wife have three children between the ages of 11 and 15, and that since the birth of their first child, his wife has been a stay-at-home parent. They agreed on this setup so that there would always be someone home to raise the kids.

Because of the pay cuts at work, the author has taken on a part-time food delivery position on the weekends to afford their children’s extracurricular activities. This is causing a lot of psychological strain and mental stress on the author, because he constantly is worried about money.

Money is the root of all evil.

Data from surveys show that money is one of the top things that romantic couples fight about. It is one of the top stresses, which results in conflict when a couple is not aligned in their values, or struggling to make ends meet.

Sinking under the psychological weight of financial responsibility, the author approached his wife and asked her to get a part-time job to help contribute to the household. With that said, the wife didn’t receive his request well. She ‘went off on him’, saying that he had ‘lied’ when he said she could be a stay-at-home mom after having kids. She then demanded why he asked her to marry him if he ‘couldn’t afford to have kids’ in the first place.

The author is at a loss for what to do. He explains that he works from home, and even offered his wife a part-time job answering phones for him while the kids are at school. If she could transfer the calls to the appropriate department, he could spend more time making money. Since asking his wife to take up a part-time job, he states that she is so furious that she ‘hasn’t spoken to him in two weeks’.

What do you think? Is the author out of line for asking his wife to get a part-time position, considering he promised her she could be a stay-at-home mom once they had kids? Or does the wife need to recognize that circumstances change, and that when you choose to get married, you are committed to work as a team with your partner?

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