Pregnant Woman Refuses to Give Baby Last Name of Father

Gillian Sisley

Should a child always be given the last name of their dad?

When a couple decides that they want to start a family and have a child, this can be a very nerve-racking but also exciting time in their lives. There are a lot of things to plan and a lot of details to iron out.

Ask any parent, and they'll tell you that one of the hardest parts of planning for a child is choosing a name for them. More often than not, these parents are referring to first names, but sometimes the debate and argument can be over which last name the child will be given.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a woman goes back on her word and refuses to give her child her husband's last name, resulting in massive conflict in their marriage.

Should a child always be given the last name of their dad?

A Reddit post published on July 20th, reported on by Matt Keeley from Newsweek, has gone viral with 4,700 upvotes and 2,400 comments.

The author begins his post by explaining that he and his wife have been together for 9 years. They've been married for 7 of those years. While they were dating, they made an agreement that if they were to get married, the wife could keep her maiden last name, rather than taking the author’s.

While this made the author a little sad, because he wanted all of his family to have the same last name, he agreed to this decision as long as their children would have his last name. His wife agreed to the compromise.

A few months after moving in together, the author once again brought up the deal about names, and his wife once again agreed. They seemed to be entirely on the same page. This deal was so important to him, in fact, that he took out a piece of paper to make a mock contract that the two of them signed and dated. He saw this as a symbolic gesture for their agreement.

The couple is now expecting a baby, and they are in the process of choosing baby names. The author's wife specifically said ‘no’ to one of his suggestions, because she felt it wouldn't go well with her own last name. The author then questioned her about this, reminding her that they had agreed that the children would have his last name.

A couple needs to be on the same page when it comes to the ultimate choice for naming a child.

His wife then said that she’d thought about it, but she ultimately decided that she wanted their children to have her last name because she liked it, and wanted to pass it down. She even suggested that her husband change his last name to her maiden name.

The author was incredibly taken aback by the situation, and he reminded her that they had discussed this multiple times, and even made a contract related to the decision. His wife ultimately told him that his 'thinking was outdated', and that he needed to 'stop being stupid'.

He states that he feels ‘betrayed on a level he has never felt and is truly upset’. This has caused massive strife in his marriage, and both parties are mentally and emotionally suffering because of the conflict. The author ultimately feels that he was manipulated by his wife all this time, and wonders if this is a dealbreaker for their marriage.

What do you think? Is the author completely justified in being upset that his wife has gone back on a deal that they've had for a decade? Or is the author trying to enforce his outdated thinking on his wife, and should support not only his children having his wife's last name, but also taking her last name for himself?

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