'Deadbeat Dad' Refuses to Help Wife with Newborn

Gillian Sisley

Are childcare and cleaning exclusively jobs for women?

Newborns are a lot of work, especially in the early months as new parents are adapting to a completely different lifestyle from what they had been accustomed to.

When a couple decides to have a baby, there is a general agreement between the two of them that they will share the responsibility and duties, because they are a partnership. However, not everyone follows this general philosophy.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a young woman calls out her brother for being a deadbeat dad and an even worse husband after learning the truth of how little he helps around the house.

Are childcare and cleaning exclusively jobs for women?

A Reddit post published on June 28th, reported on by Taylor McCloud from Newsweek, has gone viral with 18,300 upvotes and 1,900 comments.

The author begins her post by explaining that her brother and his wife recently had a baby, and had expressed to the family that they were struggling to adapt to this new life of parenthood.

The author recently went to visit her brother and his new baby for the first time, and noticed that the house was quite messy, but attributed that to just struggling to navigate all of the new responsibilities. However, the author soon realized that it was more so a specific person who is making the adjustment difficult.

The author greeted her brother, who was clean, well kept and well-rested. She then saw her sister-in-law, who looked like ‘a total train wreck’. Over the next several hours, the author's brother refused to change a single diaper, help with the baby's bath or bedtime, or take on any roles or responsibilities that were 'traditionally for women'.

This is 2022. Partnership is equal.

The author and her other family members immediately called out her brother, telling him that he needs to grow up and help out. He continued to make excuses, saying that he was tired from work, and eventually got very mad at his family. He stated that ‘he is the man, she is the woman’. It's ‘not his job’ to take care of the child, other than ‘teaching him sports and how to be a man'

The author then snapped at her brother, yelling at him for being a terrible dad and neglecting his child. She also expressed how sad it was that he forces everyone else to do his duties for him. She called him a 'deadbeat', and told him he shouldn't have had a kid, to begin with, if he didn't want to help out.

The author then told him that she was worried about his wife for marrying him, stating that he was a ‘terrible husband’ and that she could do much better. The entire family went silent, the author's parents told her to wait outside, and she heard her brother burst into tears.

What do you think? Was the author entirely justified in calling out her brother who was refusing to help his wife take care of their newborn child? Or was it none of her business, she should have kept her mouth shut, and she was way out of line to call her brother a deadbeat?

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