Man Refuses to Name Baby After Wife's Late Husband

Gillian Sisley

Can honoring the dead go too far?

The birth of a baby is meant to be an exciting time, however, there can be a lot of family politics and other issues that can get in the way and dampen the joy of the situation.

The birth of a new child can also be bittersweet in cases where a loved one is no longer around, and they miss out on the celebration of the new addition to the family.

These realities were all highlighted in a recent online post in which a woman tries to secretly name her newborn child after her deceased husband, behind her current husband's back.

Can honoring the dead go too far?

A Reddit post published on June 11th, reported on by Samantha Berlin from Newsweek, has gone viral with 10,000 upvotes and 2,500 comments.

The author begins his post by clarifying that his current wife is pregnant, and their marriage is her second. His wife lost her first husband 8 years ago, and she was pregnant with his child at the time but miscarried soon after his death due to the grief.

The author and his wife are now expecting their first child, and she stated that she wants to name the baby James, which was the name of her deceased husband. The author made it clear that while it's a nice name, it made him uncomfortable to consider naming his son after her late husband.

The couple then agreed on the name Oliver, and the author thought that everything was fine. However, after going to a family dinner, the couple announced that they were going to name the baby Oliver and the wife's sister expressed her surprise that they were giving the baby the middle name of the wife's deceased husband.

Everyone grieves in different ways.

Losing someone you love is one of the most heartbreaking experiences anyone can ever go through. It's not uncommon for people to choose to name a child after someone who is deceased, as a way of honoring their memory, although this story may cross the line on that normally sentimental tradition.

The author hadn't realized that James’ middle name was Oliver, and he immediately became upset. He accused his wife of trying to push her deceased husband into their lives, and she argued back that they'd already agreed on Oliver so that was going to be the name.

The author made it clear he would refuse to sign the birth certificate if she named their child after her deceased husband. The wife thinks the author is being insensitive, the mother-in-law has told him he should ‘just let it go’, while the wife's sister agrees with the author, saying that it's ‘weird’ to name the baby after an ex in any scenario.

Thoughts? Is the author justified in being frustrated with his wife for trying to secretly name their child after her deceased husband, even after he made it clear he wasn't comfortable with doing so? Or should the author just let it go, because it's a middle name rather than a first name, and he agreed to the name already?

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