Parents Refuse to Help Raise Grandchild for Daughter

Gillian Sisley

How involved should grandparents be in raising their grandkids?

Raising children is a huge undertaking, and when people become grandparents they are looking forward to just being able to enjoy the fun parts of having grandkids, while being able to hand them back at the end of the day.

More and more, however, new parents are leaning on their own parents for support as they raise children, some even expecting grandparents to be just as involved in raising their kids as the parents themselves are.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which two parents flat out refuse to help their daughter in raising her child, resulting in major family conflict.

How involved should grandparents be in raising their grandkids?

A Reddit post published on June 10th, reported on by Ashley Gale from Newsweek, has gone viral with an impressive 23,500 upvotes and 1,800 comments.

The author begins her post by explaining that her daughter Kelly became pregnant at the age of 16, and that Kelly decided that she ultimately wanted to keep the baby. The author and her husband were very involved in taking care of the child, and today their granddaughter Opal is 16-years-old and their daughter Kelly is 33.

The author adds the context that because her daughter was only 17 when their granddaughter was born, Kelly would rarely help with any actual parenting. She adds that asking Kelly to look after her daughter even for an hour while the author and her husband went out to run errands was a big issue each time.

The author and her husband would often have conversations with Kelly about her need to take parenting more seriously, but Kelly would continue to neglect her daughter and go out and party instead of showing up and being a mom. Once their granddaughter Opal was 6, their daughter Kelly moved out and very rarely would visit her daughter. Opal was ultimately raised by her grandparents.

The responsibility of being a parent is a massive undertaking that must be taken seriously.

The author is proud to report that Opal receives fantastic grades, and is very happy and successful in her academics. To celebrate Opal's good grades for school, the entire family went out for dinner, and that was when their daughter Kelly then announced that she was pregnant.

The author and her husband soon interrupted Kelly, saying that her announcing her pregnancy wasn't appropriate because they were there to celebrate Opal. But Kelly then went on to talk about how she and her boyfriend were ‘too busy with life’, and would need help with raising their new baby.

That was when the author immediately cut Kelly off and told her that she and her husband would have absolutely no role in raising the new child, and wouldn't be providing a single thing to the baby, including childcare, supplies, and anything else.

Kelly became incredibly enraged, and a huge argument took place. Kelly accused her parents of being ‘heartless for throwing one of their grandchildren away’, but the author and her husband told Kelly that she was selfish to expect her parents to raise another child for her.

Since the incident, different family members have chosen different sides. What do you think? Was the author entirely within her right to put her foot down and make it clear that she and her husband would not be helping their daughter raise another child? Or is it cruel to refuse to offer any assistance or care to their new grandchild, considering the baby hasn't done anything wrong?

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