Woman Refuses to Accommodate Schedule of Ex's Stepchildren

Gillian Sisley

How far should a person go to coordinate with their ex-spouse’s new family?

Marriage can get complicated, especially when things aren't well in the partnership, leading to separation. Matters get even worse when there are children involved.

That said, the majority of individuals who get divorced are likely to remarry down the road, and a portion of those who will remarry will have children as well. The more children to coordinate between divorced parents, the trickier logistics can get.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a man demands that his ex-wife accommodate the schedule of his new stepchildren, and she absolutely refuses to do so.

How far should a person go to coordinate with their ex-spouse’s new family?

A Reddit post published on May 27th, reported on by Taylor McCloud from Newsweek, has gone viral with 11,300 upvotes and close to 1,000 comments.

The author begins her post by explaining that she and her ex-husband got divorced after much tension and complication, and now they are co-parenting their children together. However, the author states that her ex has made it incredibly difficult to co-parent.

She adds the context that she and her ex have two sons together, ages 10 and 11, and the divorce happened 7 years ago. He has since remarried a woman with two daughters, and the ex has made several attempts to gain full custody of both of her sons. He would use the fact that he had remarried as a reason why he should be the primary residence for his sons. He also sued his ex-wife to have his sons’ last names changed to his rather than the authors, but all of his legal pursuits were denied.

She also indicates that her sons haven't had very much contact with their stepsisters, but that the ex is now pushing to have the boys spend more time with his new wife and stepdaughters. He has asked his ex specifically to give him extra days in the custody agreement because it would be easier for him, including demanding that the author give up a week of time with her son so that he could take the boys and his stepdaughters away for a two-week vacation. The author flat out refused, and her ex didn't take this news well.

Juggling between two parental households can take a great toll on children.

Psychologically speaking, the divorce of two parents can be very hard on a child, and can affect their psychological and mental well-being well into adulthood. What children need most after divorce is consistency, stability, and two parents that work together for their children’s best interest.

As soon as the author refused to give up an extra week so that her ex could take their sons on vacation with his other family, he lashed out at her. He accused her of ‘not caring about his stepdaughters’ schedule’, and she agreed that this wasn't important to her and that he needed to stop making the schedule of his stepchildren a problem for her.

She added that he wasn't going to get her week of visitation so that he could go on vacation with their sons, and he needed to accept it and move on.

What do you think? Is the author being petty and unreasonable by not letting the father take his sons on vacation with him? Or is the author fully within her right to deny her ex-husband an additional week of her visitation time, just so that a relationship between the sons and the stepsisters could be more easily accommodated?

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