Woman Refuses to Let 'Bully' In-Law Be Bridesmaid

Gillian Sisley

Who should get final say in who is chosen to be in a wedding party?

Planning a wedding can be an exciting time, but it can also be stressful. There are a lot of decisions that have to be made, from who to invite as guests, to what the theme will be, to a lot of nitty-gritty details.

With that said, a tradition in the west includes having a wedding party on both sides. This is meant to be a chance for a groom or bride to select their nearest and dearest friends or family to stand by them on their wedding day. However, family politics can come into play to make the selection process a total headache.

This sort of situation was highlighted in a recent online post in which a bride is being pressured to include her sister-in-law in her wedding party, but she firmly refuses because her sister-in-law was her school 'bully'.

Who should get final say in who is chosen to be in a wedding party?

A Reddit post published on May 24th, reported on by Ashley Gale from Newsweek, has gone viral with 10,900 upvotes and 1,600 comments.

The author begins her post by explaining that her brother got married about 5 years ago to a woman, Gemma, who bullied her in high school. Due to the bullying, the author suffered from anxiety and major depression. She adds that back in school Gemma seemed to take a lot of joy in bullying her, and calling her really awful names.

The author goes on to say that it was especially upsetting that her brother fell in love with a person who had been so cruel to her in the past. He told her that Gemma was a different person now and that she’d changed. He also forced her to listen to an apology from the bully because now they were 'family'. While the author recognizes that Gemma came from a tough family background, it hasn't been so easy for her to forgive, especially after the emotional trauma she's experienced due to the past bullying.

The author goes on to explain that her groom asked her brother to be a groomsman, while they were still inviting Gemma to the wedding as an 'unwanted' guest, but that was it. However, the author's mom and brother have asked for Gemma to be a bridesmaid, though the author has adamantly refused.

How should one deal with opinionated family members when it comes to wedding planning?

A lot of people are going to have opinions about how a person conducts their wedding. But at the end of the day, a married-couple-to-be needs to remind themselves that it's their day, and they're the ones who are going to have to live with what happens on that day for the rest of their lives.

Most family members will forget, but the couple will never forget. So ensure that you make decisions for yourself, rather than letting family pressure you.

While the author's father has sided with her, the rest of her family is telling her that she's in the wrong for making it seem like Gemma isn't part of the family by not asking her to be a bridesmaid. The author's father said that what they were asking of her was far too much, and now he is also being shamed and shunned by the family for sticking up for his daughter.

What do you think? Is the author being cruel by not asking Gemma to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, even though she's her sister-in-law? Or is it entirely the author's business who she has standing next to her to support her on her big day, and she's fully within her right to exclude Gemma from that role considering she bullied her so harshly in school?

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